Check In March 2023

I can't believe it's been 2 years since my last update...

Hubby is still working. He's liking the company and they seem to be liking him too so all good there.

My son did move into his own apartment. It actually went really well and despite my reservations he maintained stability and didn't wreck the joint. ;) He did give his notice and moved out the end of last month. He went from working 3 days a week to 5 days which in hindsight was too much for him. It's hard to work 10-12 hours a day and be on medications that require a lot of sleep time. The company he worked for moved locations so he was unable to keep going. In between that he hurt his back and knee... Now that was a bit of a shit show...

I'm not usually one to email MPs however I did... My son knee was obviously infected so I took him to the ER. This nicest thing I can say is that was useless. He left there without treatment. Thank goodness for a doctor at a walk-in clinic who did treat him. She also wanted him to go back to the ER... He did not and I can't blame him. Basically 12 hour wait times to even be seen by a doctor.

We have all these plandemic mandates... I'm sure that statement makes it pretty clear where I stand on most of it. Enter the ER and the first thing we get asked is if we are vaccinated. Ok. Didn't ask our names or why we were there. Vaccinated and unvaccinated were treated the same and handed a mask. So why ask? In the 20 minutes that I stayed there and watched about 20 masks get handed out, can you guess how many were actually wearing the mask properly? I'm sorry but they do no good hugging your chin or hanging off your ear. So me who is tired of all the plandemic theatre was one of the few wearing it properly.

Dealing with the system recently has been difficult. The program that he was involved with decided that he was no longer in need. In closing his file that meant he no longer had access to his psychiatrist. That little tidbit was found out when I tried to get through to the psychiatrist to leave a message. The program itself didn't bother to tell my son that he had lost his psychiatrist. That turned into another drawn out scenario of my trying to get the local MLA involved. Not sure it did much good as well privacy laws have and always well be way more important that actually doing anyone any good. The program did send his file off to a doctor in another city that he hasn't dealt with in years without confirming that it was in fact my son's doctor. At this point, thankful that he has a doctor at all as at this point they are getting harder and harder to find. This one says he is capable of overseeing the clozapine requirements and writing prescriptions so that is a win win for now.

I've been keeping busy. Pretty busy actually. About a year and half ago, I became the manager of the park that I live in. Most days are good. Some days... Let's just say that I have learned way more than I ever thought that I would about pumps, plumbing, electrical, by-laws and whatever else. Physically I'm probably healthier than even have been. I do a lot of walking and landscaping. I have an ongoing war with blackberry bushes. I have every intention of winning! So looking forward to nicer weather again.

Snow! Like most, I'm totally done with it! I'm sure some are still loving it... Time to let it go until next year! Global warming my ass!

As for what has been happening in the world this last couple of years... I cannot fathom most of it most days. It has opened my eyes to a lot. So yeah, now I'm one those anti-vax, racist, non-conforming Canadians that love my country and is ashamed of it's government. The upside... I'm healthy. Not afraid of... I won't say much else. If this gets censored like my Facebook, I'd be risking losing my blog.

The grandkids are growing and are doing great. I love hearing my granddaughter call me grammie or gammie. They along with their parental figures are most likely moving to Alberta. Can't say I blame them. Yes, I also support Smith! She rocks! I will follow when Yehovah (God) gives me the green light to go too.

Until next time...

© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2023. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Check in Feb 2021

Almost another year gone... wow.

Not much has changed here. 

It was my son's birthday last month so he's been struggling a bit with his drinking. Meaning drinking too much. A family member gave him all the ingredients for his favorite drink so he went a little overboard with it. As usual it causes some conflict between hubby and I. Not much I can do about that one either.

My son went down 25 mg of Clozapine with his psychiatrists approval and my support. It's my son's goal to go down from 400 mg to 200 mg. Currently at 375 mg. His psychiatrist is being extremely cautious with how often and how much he will decrease which is a good thing. While my son isn't overly happy about it, he is continuing to be med-compliant. I think it's been about 5-6 months since the decrease and I haven't noticed any changes in my son because of it.

I'm grateful that he understands that he needs them, even if only in the context of helping him with his anxiety. I make it clear if he wants to continue to drink and smoke weed then he needs the medications so that he doesn't lose all that he has gained and end up back in the hospital. He in no way, wants to go back to living like that and very much enjoys being able to spend money like he does, so it's good motivation. I was very surprised to hear him the other day telling someone that they didn't need to worry because his pills protect him from schizophrenia. 

He's still working 3 days a week and enjoying it.

He actually took himself to work today for the first time in a long time. Usually my hubby takes him however hubby started his own job last week so he can only take my son on Sat. and Sun. now. 

I guess about a year ago my son bought an electric scooter. Had some issues with it and decided to sell it. Then he bought an E-bike... Decided he wanted a scooter again. So we sold the E-bike and used that money to get another scooter. This time was better as he had more reasonable expectations on what the scooter can and can't do. 

My son still struggles with wanting things, now... However I can't say that is a trait only belonging to someone diagnosed with mental illness. He is getting better at having, a little, patience. Sometimes if I can put off him getting what he is asking for then within a couple of days he will have changed his mind on wanting it. There has been several things over the past 2 months. A new PSP, contact lenses, glasses... His need for instant gratification may never go away as it doesn't in a lot of non-diagnosed as well. Due to the pandemic, some of these things are just going to have to wait, like contact lenses, as the services are not easily available in a way that he can deal with.

Back to my day... Just wanted to touch base and let everyone know that all is good. 

© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2021. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Proof is in the Pudding (bottle)

A phrase I tend to use a lot is the proof is in the pudding... Basically it means talk is cheap. Make the pudding (do the action) then we will see if one is really capable of doing what they say they can do. Once the pudding is made... there is your proof.

This morning I found 3 empty bottles of alcohol in my son's backpack. Here in Canada we call them mickeys. 375ml bottles. 2 fireball whiskey and 1 captain morgan's rum.

I know that at least one of them if not two of  them are new. Yesterday he went for a ride... To the liquor store obviously and drank at least a mickey last night.

I've noticed for a couple of weeks now that my son seems a bit off. Nothing major but it's there and I couldn't put my finger on what it was causing it. In the back of my head I was beginning to question if his medications were starting to stop working. Now I know why... He's binge drinking again.

My son has an addictive personality. He can't just have one... Once triggered he seems to go through phases of needing to drink. I'm usually prepared for it after his birthday or special occasions like Christmas.

I'm starting to have trouble sleeping again. Waking up every 1-2 hours. This morning it kinda clicked in my head. Before when my son lived with me this would be my sleep pattern. As any parent out there with mentally ill children know... There is no letting our guards down completely.

I'm grateful that he is still taking his medications. That's why I don't sleep... It's constantly waking up to check on him and try to 'nicely' remind/tell him to take his medications without of course triggering his defiance. Without his medications and with the drinking he is doing he can be a step away from a relapse. Sadly that is all that it takes.

He has been spending long periods again just lying there... On his back, arms crossed over his chest. I really don't like seeing it. It's how someone looks in a coffin. He's what I call in his own head space. Not a good spot for him to be in for any length of time.

Usually he is waking us up all night, in and out smoking. How much he smokes tends to go down as well when he isn't doing well. He hasn't been smoking as much at night as he usually does. He's not even smoking weed like he normally does now that I think about it.... When he's not using his main crutch (marijuana), that's a red flag.

Of all the things that my son goes through with his diagnoses, I would have to say that addiction is what I dislike the most. I think I hate alcohol. I only have to look around me and remember my own past to remind myself why I don't want it in my life, ever again.

I'm out of practice I guess... Not that there is anything I can do to change what is happening except pray that God take away his need for alcohol. Geesh... Everyone's need for it!

© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2020. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.