The last couple of days and certainly last night and this morning are not going to good. After my last blog post Michael did start taking his Olanzapine again so only missed the one night. The week ended and the weekend was quiet.
Monday when his nurse arrived I brought up that my son had agreed to try upping his Invega from 6 mg to 9 mg as we had discussed it and he agreed. Or so I thought... We had not discussed upping the Invega to replace him coming off the Olanzapine however that seems to be what his intentions were. His nurse said that he would discuss it with his treatment team.
Michael had also brought up to me wanting to try using vitamins. I cautioned him that this can work for some however not everyone and that for the people it do work for, they take lots of supplements sometimes several times a day. Also he needs to be on them for at least several months for the levels to build up in his system before even thinking about reducing medications to see if it will work. For one day he took all the supplements I gave him. The next day refused the Omega 3, a really important one if this is going to work, and nothing since that.
As of Tuesday things have been going down hill again.
I have no idea what prompted it however he didn't take his Invega or Olanzapine on Tuesday night and was up all night. I can't tell you exactly what he was up to other then some odd stuff.
In the middle of the night, one of the times that I got up to check on him, he was totally naked and acting guilty. I didn't really register this until I was back in bed. I reminded him about his pills and left it at that.
Wednesday morning he was lying on the sofa covered up with his blanket. I won't go into detail other then based on the sounds I was hearing and how he was lying... I'm pretty sure he was masturbating. Several times I 'interrupted' him and finally told him if he was going to keep doing it that he needed to go to his room. Off he went.
Later that morning I went into his room to clean as it was getting ridiculous in there. Even though I hadn't caught him again it was obvious he was smoking in there as there was more and more ashes and tobacco all over where he was putting them out on lord knows what since he had no ashtray. The first things I noticed was that he had sometime during the night grabbed the hammer and the knife sharpener. No I don't know why and he wouldn't tell me. I moved a box to clean and behind it was cigarette butts and his Olanzapine. So that is where he was stashing what he didn't want me to find.
I took the hammer, knife sharpener and Olanzapine downstairs and calmly asked him what he was doing with the hammer and knife sharpener. Like I said, he wouldn't tell. Just said the he thought he might need them for something. Then I asked him if we were back to him hiding his pills from me. His response was to tell me to stop being such a snob and that I had no right to yell at him or give him attitude for not taking his Olanzapine. One, I wasn't yelling and two, the point was that he hid them from me not that he didn't take them and three, he was still smoking in his room and lying to me about it.
I went back up to continue cleaning and vacuuming his room. Under his table I found his Invega. He says he didn't take them because he didn't sleep. They are no longer sedating for him so that is not logical. They do however slow his mind down so that he can sleep. Anyways this logic made sense to him :). I asked him for his cigarettes as they need to stay downstairs since I can't trust him. He handed them over then out of the blue told me dinner the night before was disgusting (it wasn't). No worries I won't be making dinner tonight... I got told to fuck off.
I let him know that he just lost his cigarettes (hubby bought them). A little while later I noticed that he was going outside and leaving the yard. Red flag. I went upstairs and checked and sure enough he had gone into my closet and grabbed a pack of smokes. I asked for them back... got called a bitch so I disconnected the internet.
We didn't talk much the rest of the day ;). Somewhat later he asked me what was for dinner. Before you think that he was psychotic or whatnot and didn't remember what had happened, he did. He was very much aware of what he said to me and it wasn't said spur of the moment. It was said on purpose. I told him whatever he made for himself. Hubby and I went out... He made himself noodles.
After we returned my son asked to talk. Stating it wasn't his fault that it was because he didn't take his pills and was up all night. If he took his pills that night could he have his cigarettes back. It wasn't my fault that he didn't take his pills either and I don't deserve to be talked to like that. I told him I wasn't going to negotiate with him about taking his pills. He needs to take them because he needs to take them and no he wasn't getting his cigarettes back that day.
He took his pills :), went to sleep early and as far as I know slept through the night. Yesterday morning I gave him a pack of cigarettes. We had a short conversation about what happened and he acknowledged that I didn't yell at him and that he guesses he needs to take his pills for now. My first thoughts were: Yeah, some insight. No... He was just saying what he thought I needed to hear.
At dinner time he asked for the internet back. I agreed however let him know that moving forward he was going to be losing it for longer for swearing at me so forewarned.
Last night he asked me to rub his back. He started talking about his Olanzapine being poison so he wouldn't take it. Took the Invega. Delusional talk about forcing his body to sweat was building up muscle and made up words stating that he had learned in chemistry in school. I did chemistry for three years and I don't recall that word. Well I went to school in Newfoundland and that place is... hmm I forget the word he used but not a nice one. For starters I also went to high school in Ontario and Newfoundland however surprising it may seem (Canadians will understand the reference) had a much harder curriculum. I told him that I thought he was being delusional, that he wasn't making sense to me and went to bed.
Several time between 9 and 3:30 I checked on him and kept reminding him to take his Olanzapine. By 3:30 he started asking for cigarettes and banging on walls. His bedroom wall is also my husband's bedroom wall (remember he has his own room for sleeping) and it was waking me up in my room. Once I gave him a cigarette then told him no because he will be out of cigarettes by noon if I gave him a pack them. 3:30 he stating he was going to make coffee...
Hubby was nice this morning and fed Gucci (our cat) so she wasn't doing her usual head-butting. I got to sleep in until 6 (if you can call being constantly woken up, sleeping in) when Michael came in and got me up asking for his cigarettes. I gave him a pack. As I'm walking down the stairs I'm noticing finger prints and smudges all over the walls. Same in his room even though I had washed the smudges off on Wednesday. Now two of his bedroom walls are full of them again. He says it's from him punching the walls and skin coming off. I did find his empty Olanzapine wrapper so I'm guessing he did finally take it sometime between 3:30 and 6.
As I was walking down the stairs he said that he wanted to talk to me about something. I'm pretty sure it's about either money or most likely marijuana as yesterday he told me that he hasn't been happy for over a year now so he should be able to smoke some now can we discuss it. No we cannot. No amount of sympathy gaining/manipulation is going to make me agree to marijuana. Anyways I just told him this morning that whatever it is he wants to talk about is going to have to wait because I just got up and I would like some coffee.
A little later he sits in the living room. He knows that his bothers me. He puts his feet on the coffee table, usually with shoes on (like this morning) and bounces his legs/feet. So the coffee table is making a racket, the floor is vibrating and I haven't even finished my first cup of coffee. After several times telling him to stop it he finally went to his room. Of course he is up there making a racket that he says he isn't.
I guess it's a combination of his ADHD and schizophrenia that when he gets a bit unstable he becomes very loud physically. He doesn't walk, he stomps. He doesn't sit, he drops/plunks onto furniture. He isn't gentle with anything that he touches or uses.
I guess that good thing I can try to take away from this is having a better idea of where his stability is at (or not at). If missing one dose of medications is going to have this affect than it's good to know. Although there is something else that I have been pondering and didn't mention. I guess it was two weekends ago when hubby and my son got their hair cut. Well while at the barber we ran into his 'friend' from across the hall at the old apartment. Hubby and I tried to keep an eye on them talking just in case there was an exchange of any type (marijuana). We didn't see anything and I have been trying not to over think it however he has been starting to slip since shortly after that. Combine this with some of the guilty behavior that I have been seeing like hiding his hands under the blanket when I walk into his room when he isn't smoking cigarettes, him stating yesterday that he must have been going through withdrawal or something... has me wondering. He has been keeping his hoodies on and it's not hot in here which used to be a red flag for him having stuff on him. I have checked them when I can and haven't found anything however that doesn't mean anything. Throw in Michael now asking me about letting him smoke it when that hasn't been brought up in a long time... Oh well.
*fingers crossed* that when/if his case worker from PACT drops off his medications today that his Invega has been upped. I'm not counting on it but it would be nice. Oh yeah... He missed group on Wednesday which sucks as it was strawberry picking.
On a good note, I might have a job! Talked to a lady yesterday and went over what the position is. Basically inside sales, from home. Something a little new to me although I do have some knowledgeable of the concept, requirements and expectations since I did work for a recruiting firm for over 9 years.
I did quit smoking on Sunday. So far, so good. Wednesday was a bit of a test ;). The patches are really helping so I'm rarely getting cravings. When I do then I also have lozenges which I'm using about 3 times a day. Like now :).
My goal today. Getting my son in the shower. It's been weeks and it's been a bit since I washed him. Also the last shower he did have, didn't help much. The big question: How to accomplish this?
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Showing posts with label Vitamins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vitamins. Show all posts
Friday, June 26, 2015
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
What a conundrum he is.
Conundrum, riddle or puzzle... Yes that is my son at the moment.
He didn't sleep much the night before last so I wasn't sure if he was going to be able to get up when his psychiatrist showed up yesterday morning. We spoke for a bit before I got my son up. I gave him a quick overview, advised him how to get a more accurate response regarding voices/entities and discussed my concerns about upping the Invega and what our options were.
Then I got my son up. He seemed to respond better with the psychiatrist then with the new nurse and was more alert. My son has known this psychiatrist for awhile now and seems to like him so that probably helped. As I advised his psychiatrist asked him about the entities (rather then do you have voices?) and my son's response was more honest and he replied that yes they are there and that he has voices.
It was agreed that we would try adding Latuda instead of upping his Invega because upping his Invega could have the opposite affect to what we are looking for and it could actually drag him down. We didn't mention losing his libido but I'm guessing the psychiatrist was also taking this into account and that's what he meant my dragging him down. I told the psychiatrist that my son seems to do best on lower doses of two medications and since this is what we are going to try then we seem to be on the same page. We discussed weight gain and I let him know that the only time I have seen this due to medications is on 450 mg of Clozapine. Other then that my son's weight doesn't fluctuate that much. For me this is another reason to keep him on lower doses, if possible, as weight gain could become a reason to be non-compliant and we don't need to give him reasons for that. ;)
The only question my son seemed to have is if the Latuda would help with stress. Yes it will. Some information on Latuda here: Lurasidone/Latuda. I know that I have heard of good results with it and that it can also act like an antidepressant while it is still an antipsychotic which is a good match for my son. I have never seen antidepressants help him. As with his Invega it is an atypical or next generation medication and is what they call cleaner so has less side affects. I'm very hopeful of this combination as being on two medications that are considered cleaner and keeping to lower doses should work out well.
I was expecting that my son would go back to bed after the psychiatrist left. He didn't and in fact seemed to have an ok day. The voices are there but they didn't seem as bad. Yesterday was my hubby's birthday so I thought I would 'try' to bake him a chocolate cake which of course I didn't have. I asked my son to walk to the corner store with me. He asked if he could get two things. It ended up being five things... They didn't have a chocolate cake mix.
When we got back he went up to his room with his treats and got on his computer! Happily listening to the sounds of his computer gaming, I looked through my cupboards and came up with the idea of a vanilla, strawberry and whipped cream cake to make for my hubby along with some double chocolate chip cookies. The cake was a hit! Surprisingly since my baking skills are not so great and as is usual for me I wasn't following a recipe.
While I was in the kitchen I noticed that my son was snacking on things like he usually does when stable. And he was cleaning up after himself! I know! I didn't say anything. Randomly talked to him, joined him outside for cigarettes and gave him a cookie when they were done. Once when he walked by me I commented that he really needed a shower or at least a change of cloths and off he went and put on clean cloths! Minus socks ;)
Hubby came home and was pleasantly happy about dinner. He was really hungry and expecting that it would be something like fish and rice as he knows this type of diet can help my son. However it was his birthday dinner so it was steak, corn on the cob and baked potatoes. My son really enjoys steak and corn on the cob as well so he ate good too. Win win!
After dinner I asked my son if he wanted tea. First he said no then he said yes. I made us all tea, put out all of our vitamins as I usually do and put on our TV shows. Reminded my son that the vitamins were there once then left them alone. A little while later I went to pick them up and put them away and just commented: I guess you don't want these? First he said no then said wait I will take these (picked up the multivitamins), I will take this too (picked up the B50), I guess I will take the fish ones too... So he took them all! It was after 8 so I went and got his Invega which he took then and there.
We all went out for a cigarette and when we came back in I asked him if he felt like taking his Melatonin tonight. He said sure... So I got him two and put them in his room. He was on his computer when hubby and I went to bed. He was eating a candy... I know that may sound like something small however after a week of seeing him in such a negative symptom swing it was a welcome sight and I went up to him and hugged him tight, telling him I loved him. Stumbled over my words as I said something like: It's good to see looking better... or acting better.. or... I paused and finished with: It's good to have you back. He just smiled at me, hugged me back and told me he loved me too.
I think it was around 11:30 that I woke up and checked on him. He was in bed but awake. I asked him if he had taken his Melatonin and he had forgotten so he took them! As far as I know he slept through the night until 9:30 this morning.
PACT called around 9 to see if he wanted to go on there outing today which is I think a trail walk. I woke him up to ask him and he said no. Thirty minutes later when he got up, I brought it up again asking if he was sure. He said he woke up in a bad mood so no. I said ok but it's a trail walk so in nature which you like. He replied with yah I might like that. Call them back and tell them I want to go. I called and left a message stating that if they still had a spot left that he wanted to go so hopefully they will call back. It's supposed to be a pretty nice day out.
So ya... I'm slightly bemused at the change since we haven't added the Latuda yet. He's adjusting to no Olanzapine? I have no idea. I'm just glad to see him functioning a bit better. I know that some would recommend interacting with him more, to pull him out of his head when he isn't doing well but I tend to give him his space to a certain degree. When the voices are bad then I'm just another voice talking to him and I think that can stress him even further. I know I wouldn't appreciate it if I had a room full of people talking at me and someone else decided to chime in ;) I know that doing even minor physical or 'real life' things takes a lot of energy and I don't need to be an extra stimulant for him if I can help it. Just like yesterday... When he is ready and able then I'm there.
I should get going. He asked again about camping last night so I should look into booking something in the relatively near future. I also need to follow up again with disability as the pharmacy supplying his medications still hasn't received his drug cards for March and April.
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
He didn't sleep much the night before last so I wasn't sure if he was going to be able to get up when his psychiatrist showed up yesterday morning. We spoke for a bit before I got my son up. I gave him a quick overview, advised him how to get a more accurate response regarding voices/entities and discussed my concerns about upping the Invega and what our options were.
Then I got my son up. He seemed to respond better with the psychiatrist then with the new nurse and was more alert. My son has known this psychiatrist for awhile now and seems to like him so that probably helped. As I advised his psychiatrist asked him about the entities (rather then do you have voices?) and my son's response was more honest and he replied that yes they are there and that he has voices.
It was agreed that we would try adding Latuda instead of upping his Invega because upping his Invega could have the opposite affect to what we are looking for and it could actually drag him down. We didn't mention losing his libido but I'm guessing the psychiatrist was also taking this into account and that's what he meant my dragging him down. I told the psychiatrist that my son seems to do best on lower doses of two medications and since this is what we are going to try then we seem to be on the same page. We discussed weight gain and I let him know that the only time I have seen this due to medications is on 450 mg of Clozapine. Other then that my son's weight doesn't fluctuate that much. For me this is another reason to keep him on lower doses, if possible, as weight gain could become a reason to be non-compliant and we don't need to give him reasons for that. ;)
The only question my son seemed to have is if the Latuda would help with stress. Yes it will. Some information on Latuda here: Lurasidone/Latuda. I know that I have heard of good results with it and that it can also act like an antidepressant while it is still an antipsychotic which is a good match for my son. I have never seen antidepressants help him. As with his Invega it is an atypical or next generation medication and is what they call cleaner so has less side affects. I'm very hopeful of this combination as being on two medications that are considered cleaner and keeping to lower doses should work out well.
I was expecting that my son would go back to bed after the psychiatrist left. He didn't and in fact seemed to have an ok day. The voices are there but they didn't seem as bad. Yesterday was my hubby's birthday so I thought I would 'try' to bake him a chocolate cake which of course I didn't have. I asked my son to walk to the corner store with me. He asked if he could get two things. It ended up being five things... They didn't have a chocolate cake mix.
When we got back he went up to his room with his treats and got on his computer! Happily listening to the sounds of his computer gaming, I looked through my cupboards and came up with the idea of a vanilla, strawberry and whipped cream cake to make for my hubby along with some double chocolate chip cookies. The cake was a hit! Surprisingly since my baking skills are not so great and as is usual for me I wasn't following a recipe.
While I was in the kitchen I noticed that my son was snacking on things like he usually does when stable. And he was cleaning up after himself! I know! I didn't say anything. Randomly talked to him, joined him outside for cigarettes and gave him a cookie when they were done. Once when he walked by me I commented that he really needed a shower or at least a change of cloths and off he went and put on clean cloths! Minus socks ;)
Hubby came home and was pleasantly happy about dinner. He was really hungry and expecting that it would be something like fish and rice as he knows this type of diet can help my son. However it was his birthday dinner so it was steak, corn on the cob and baked potatoes. My son really enjoys steak and corn on the cob as well so he ate good too. Win win!
After dinner I asked my son if he wanted tea. First he said no then he said yes. I made us all tea, put out all of our vitamins as I usually do and put on our TV shows. Reminded my son that the vitamins were there once then left them alone. A little while later I went to pick them up and put them away and just commented: I guess you don't want these? First he said no then said wait I will take these (picked up the multivitamins), I will take this too (picked up the B50), I guess I will take the fish ones too... So he took them all! It was after 8 so I went and got his Invega which he took then and there.
We all went out for a cigarette and when we came back in I asked him if he felt like taking his Melatonin tonight. He said sure... So I got him two and put them in his room. He was on his computer when hubby and I went to bed. He was eating a candy... I know that may sound like something small however after a week of seeing him in such a negative symptom swing it was a welcome sight and I went up to him and hugged him tight, telling him I loved him. Stumbled over my words as I said something like: It's good to see looking better... or acting better.. or... I paused and finished with: It's good to have you back. He just smiled at me, hugged me back and told me he loved me too.
I think it was around 11:30 that I woke up and checked on him. He was in bed but awake. I asked him if he had taken his Melatonin and he had forgotten so he took them! As far as I know he slept through the night until 9:30 this morning.
PACT called around 9 to see if he wanted to go on there outing today which is I think a trail walk. I woke him up to ask him and he said no. Thirty minutes later when he got up, I brought it up again asking if he was sure. He said he woke up in a bad mood so no. I said ok but it's a trail walk so in nature which you like. He replied with yah I might like that. Call them back and tell them I want to go. I called and left a message stating that if they still had a spot left that he wanted to go so hopefully they will call back. It's supposed to be a pretty nice day out.
So ya... I'm slightly bemused at the change since we haven't added the Latuda yet. He's adjusting to no Olanzapine? I have no idea. I'm just glad to see him functioning a bit better. I know that some would recommend interacting with him more, to pull him out of his head when he isn't doing well but I tend to give him his space to a certain degree. When the voices are bad then I'm just another voice talking to him and I think that can stress him even further. I know I wouldn't appreciate it if I had a room full of people talking at me and someone else decided to chime in ;) I know that doing even minor physical or 'real life' things takes a lot of energy and I don't need to be an extra stimulant for him if I can help it. Just like yesterday... When he is ready and able then I'm there.
I should get going. He asked again about camping last night so I should look into booking something in the relatively near future. I also need to follow up again with disability as the pharmacy supplying his medications still hasn't received his drug cards for March and April.
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Jinxed! A new nurse.
Logically I know that my last blog post highlighting the good didn't actually jinx things. Still it feels like schizophrenia is somewhere saying: na-na, na-na, boo-boo... I'm better then you. I got your son... (again)
By Tuesday morning the negative symptoms were obvious. His case worker dropped by with something for my son to sign so she could help straighten out the disability thing. She commented on how 'flat' he was. One word answers. No expression.
I guess it took a week for the Olanzapine to come completely out of his system.
For a couple of days I was managing to get some vitamins in him although it was hit or miss on which ones. One day he took his multi-vitamins. The next day the B50. Another day the omega-3 because he thinks the multi-vitamin is giving him energy. Now he is not taking any of them.
He has been eating dinners as I have been trying to make things that I know he likes and is healthy to keep him eating. He is not eating outside of that.
His sleeping is all over the place, when he does sleep. He won't take his Melatonin for some reason. This kind-of sucks because the Melatonin we take has 5-HTP and L-Theanin which can help him.
Friday I actually left him home alone for the most of the day. After being up all night and the previous two days he had finally gone to sleep. It was a busy day for hubby and I. Hubby had two doctors appointments and each of them were over an hour. We had car parts to get. Also Friday was the last day of my hubby's interlock condition on his license! If you don't know what this is then it's a device that is put in your car to make sure there is no drinking and driving. He is finally free of it! So we had to go to the license place and we had to go have the device removed from the car which was another hour long appointment. I must say that although a long and tiring day, it was good to be out of the house doing 'normal' stuff. My son's case worker stopped by to check on him since I wasn't home.
Hubby walked away from the doctor's appointments with a ton of medications ;) He has been coughing up some green/black stuff and green is usually a sign of infection so he got antibiotics for that. He also got something for his back. While I'm all for chiropractor first... He was still not getting much relief and these seem to be helping his back to relax. Which should help his next adjustment go even better.
My son was up when we returned, playing online. This was the last time he played online that I'm aware of. I was worried that he might not be ok if he woke up and I wasn't here but he seemed ok. Said he didn't call because his phone was dead but that he was charging it. He did answer the door to his case worker.
Saturday we took him with us to help out my hubby's son with an errand.
Yesterday he decided not to go grocery shopping with us. This doesn't happen very often. He really likes to go but I'm guessing even doing that is becoming too much for him at this point. Yesterday was also his Dad's birthday. I brought it up once but I didn't bring it up again because I know he can't process it right now.
Tuesday his case worker told me that he has a new nurse coming on board. His case worker has been seeing him almost every week however I do believe this is supposed to be a nurse making the weekly house calls. His from awhile ago is on maternity leave. So his new nurse dropped by today. He seemed nice and my son seemed to be ok with him.
I actually took myself to the basement for a cigarette while he was here to give them a chance to talk as I know I have a tendency to interrupt... I think I did pretty good and only interrupted a couple of times ;) It was easy to tell that participating in the conversation was a struggle for my son. I'm surprised he managed to ignore the voices as well as he did. His nurse commented that his answers where pretty short and one worded... Yes that's all he is capable of right now. Actually this was the most he has spoken in days. It can take several times asking just to get an answer on what type of tea he wants after dinner. Not that he drinks it but I keep hoping that he will and take the supplements I keep putting out.
I walked out with the nurse and filled in some of the blanks and corrected some things. Like I told him, I don't know if it's my son being delusional or if he just knows what to say. He doesn't give accurate information on questions about sleeping, eating or activities. He told his nurse that he went to bed at 11 last night. I think this is because he has been told that it's a good bed time. He went to bed at 2 when I got up and had him go. He was wide awake at 5 when I got up. He didn't sleep. Same with eating. He says he has been eating good. Dinner only for most of the week now. He says he has been playing his games. He hasn't since Friday. He says that he has no voices. I told his nurse we call them entities. They started becoming obvious last Monday.
His smoking is up and down. His fingers are brown, I noticed last night. He may go awhile without but then will smoke sometimes three in a row. That seems to be lessening today. So while smoking a lot is not a good sign, smoking less is an even worse sign. When he is smoking a lot he is stressed. When he isn't smoking much than he has gone further into his head. He has actually been smoking the cigarettes that he didn't want (we couldn't return them, we tried) and not even complaining about them which isn't like him.
After several days of me nicely hinting, my hubby actually managed to suggest and get him into a bath on Thursday. I think he has been in the same clothes ever since. Will have to try and get him in clean clothes today after he wakes up. I'm pretty sure he is sleeping now. He had a short snooze yesterday but other then that has been awake since possibly Friday around noon. It's hard to tell sometimes. He will go to bed when I prompt him but that doesn't mean he is sleeping.
His nurse set up an appointment with his psychiatrist for tomorrow morning. That's an appointment that has been long overdue. We certainly need to do discuss his medications and how to proceed. I know I have been hesitant about upping his Invega due to possible lose of his libido however that doesn't seem to be happening right now anyways and honestly it's not something we need happening right now as when he is like this he can have no sense of keeping it private.
ADAPT called me this morning. She apologized for taking so long to get back to me. I let her know that my son seems to relapses so we set up a tentative follow up appointment in two weeks. She also gave me some information on the next family event that deals with concurrent disorders, mental illness and addiction, and who to contact to register. I have actually met the lady that I am to contact. We meet through the early intervention program my son was in before PACT. I have also talked to her at an event I attended through the Schizophrenia Society of Ontario.
I'm off. Gucci is demanding some petting time and the homemade beef jerky I made is calling my name...
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
By Tuesday morning the negative symptoms were obvious. His case worker dropped by with something for my son to sign so she could help straighten out the disability thing. She commented on how 'flat' he was. One word answers. No expression.
I guess it took a week for the Olanzapine to come completely out of his system.
For a couple of days I was managing to get some vitamins in him although it was hit or miss on which ones. One day he took his multi-vitamins. The next day the B50. Another day the omega-3 because he thinks the multi-vitamin is giving him energy. Now he is not taking any of them.
He has been eating dinners as I have been trying to make things that I know he likes and is healthy to keep him eating. He is not eating outside of that.
His sleeping is all over the place, when he does sleep. He won't take his Melatonin for some reason. This kind-of sucks because the Melatonin we take has 5-HTP and L-Theanin which can help him.
Friday I actually left him home alone for the most of the day. After being up all night and the previous two days he had finally gone to sleep. It was a busy day for hubby and I. Hubby had two doctors appointments and each of them were over an hour. We had car parts to get. Also Friday was the last day of my hubby's interlock condition on his license! If you don't know what this is then it's a device that is put in your car to make sure there is no drinking and driving. He is finally free of it! So we had to go to the license place and we had to go have the device removed from the car which was another hour long appointment. I must say that although a long and tiring day, it was good to be out of the house doing 'normal' stuff. My son's case worker stopped by to check on him since I wasn't home.
Hubby walked away from the doctor's appointments with a ton of medications ;) He has been coughing up some green/black stuff and green is usually a sign of infection so he got antibiotics for that. He also got something for his back. While I'm all for chiropractor first... He was still not getting much relief and these seem to be helping his back to relax. Which should help his next adjustment go even better.
My son was up when we returned, playing online. This was the last time he played online that I'm aware of. I was worried that he might not be ok if he woke up and I wasn't here but he seemed ok. Said he didn't call because his phone was dead but that he was charging it. He did answer the door to his case worker.
Saturday we took him with us to help out my hubby's son with an errand.
Yesterday he decided not to go grocery shopping with us. This doesn't happen very often. He really likes to go but I'm guessing even doing that is becoming too much for him at this point. Yesterday was also his Dad's birthday. I brought it up once but I didn't bring it up again because I know he can't process it right now.
Tuesday his case worker told me that he has a new nurse coming on board. His case worker has been seeing him almost every week however I do believe this is supposed to be a nurse making the weekly house calls. His from awhile ago is on maternity leave. So his new nurse dropped by today. He seemed nice and my son seemed to be ok with him.
I actually took myself to the basement for a cigarette while he was here to give them a chance to talk as I know I have a tendency to interrupt... I think I did pretty good and only interrupted a couple of times ;) It was easy to tell that participating in the conversation was a struggle for my son. I'm surprised he managed to ignore the voices as well as he did. His nurse commented that his answers where pretty short and one worded... Yes that's all he is capable of right now. Actually this was the most he has spoken in days. It can take several times asking just to get an answer on what type of tea he wants after dinner. Not that he drinks it but I keep hoping that he will and take the supplements I keep putting out.
I walked out with the nurse and filled in some of the blanks and corrected some things. Like I told him, I don't know if it's my son being delusional or if he just knows what to say. He doesn't give accurate information on questions about sleeping, eating or activities. He told his nurse that he went to bed at 11 last night. I think this is because he has been told that it's a good bed time. He went to bed at 2 when I got up and had him go. He was wide awake at 5 when I got up. He didn't sleep. Same with eating. He says he has been eating good. Dinner only for most of the week now. He says he has been playing his games. He hasn't since Friday. He says that he has no voices. I told his nurse we call them entities. They started becoming obvious last Monday.
His smoking is up and down. His fingers are brown, I noticed last night. He may go awhile without but then will smoke sometimes three in a row. That seems to be lessening today. So while smoking a lot is not a good sign, smoking less is an even worse sign. When he is smoking a lot he is stressed. When he isn't smoking much than he has gone further into his head. He has actually been smoking the cigarettes that he didn't want (we couldn't return them, we tried) and not even complaining about them which isn't like him.
After several days of me nicely hinting, my hubby actually managed to suggest and get him into a bath on Thursday. I think he has been in the same clothes ever since. Will have to try and get him in clean clothes today after he wakes up. I'm pretty sure he is sleeping now. He had a short snooze yesterday but other then that has been awake since possibly Friday around noon. It's hard to tell sometimes. He will go to bed when I prompt him but that doesn't mean he is sleeping.
His nurse set up an appointment with his psychiatrist for tomorrow morning. That's an appointment that has been long overdue. We certainly need to do discuss his medications and how to proceed. I know I have been hesitant about upping his Invega due to possible lose of his libido however that doesn't seem to be happening right now anyways and honestly it's not something we need happening right now as when he is like this he can have no sense of keeping it private.
ADAPT called me this morning. She apologized for taking so long to get back to me. I let her know that my son seems to relapses so we set up a tentative follow up appointment in two weeks. She also gave me some information on the next family event that deals with concurrent disorders, mental illness and addiction, and who to contact to register. I have actually met the lady that I am to contact. We meet through the early intervention program my son was in before PACT. I have also talked to her at an event I attended through the Schizophrenia Society of Ontario.
I'm off. Gucci is demanding some petting time and the homemade beef jerky I made is calling my name...
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Saint Dymphna, Saint Michael, a job? and being healthy.
About three weeks ago I learned about Saint Dymphna. She is the patron saint of the nervous, emotionally disturbed, mentally ill and those who suffer neurological disorders. She is also the patron saint of victims of incest.
Her story can be found here: Wikipedia - Saint Dymphna
My prayer to her:
I decided that I wanted a pendent for my necklace of her so my husband made it my birthday present. Saturday morning we went to a store that carries them. In the beginning I was thinking about getting three of them. One for me, my son and my daughter. Yesterday I had mine engraved with the initials of both of my children.
While at the store discussing Saints the clerk mentioned Saint Michael who is an Archangel. I knew that he was an Archangel however I know little of him beyond that. He is the patron saint of chivalry and warriors. The sick and the suffering also consider him to be their patron. The serpent that he is slaying in depictions of him represents evil. He is seen as one who protects against evil.
His story can be found here: Wikipedia - Saint Michael (Archangel)
My son's name is Michael... It just made sense so I got my son Saint Michael he does need help fighting his demons or evil entities. When I saw the detail of Michael's sword as it slayed the serpent... My son's hallucinations involve him creating armor to protect himself and he enjoys playing online games that involve armor etc. When we got home I took it to him and put it on him explaining who Saint Michael was. I also got him a medallion he can carry around that says: My son. You may have outgrown my lap but you will never outgrow my heart. I couldn't find one similar for my daughter. :(
I blogged a bit ago about my son wanting stuffed animals or stuffies as he calls them :). For awhile he wasn't paying much attention to them however recently he is back to cuddling with them. I know because I helped to arrange them last night before I did what has become our night time activity of me scratching and rubbing his back and head.
I know that sometimes my writing here can sound fairly negative. It's because this is my place to vent my thoughts and feelings and sort them out. Getting them out here means that they won't be directed at my son. Perhaps my hubby at times ;) but not my son. I can't recall the last time that I even raised my voice to him. Certainly not since we moved or since I've been on the Venlafaxine, so a couple of months. My husband says that he has seen a change in my son with how he is with me since I went to British Columbia to get him and that my son loves me more then I give him credit for. He may be right. I do know it's different now. My son spends more time sitting on the same sofa as us when we are watching TV. He spends more time having tea and watching TV with us. In fact if I don't think to ask my son to join us then my husband does because he doesn't want my son spending to much time in his room alone.
Despite our issues at times, I never need to wonder why I love my husband. I know that he finds all this frustrating at times, as I do, because we have seen how good my son can be. I don't mean good in behavior but good as in stable, clean and basically schizophrenia symptom free. It's hard to accept that as good as my son is doing right now and all things considered he is doing good, that this is the best we can expect because... Honestly why should we when we know that it can be so much better.
It's sad because instances like February and the shelter happen and they are no one's fault. It's when addiction, schizophrenia and oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) take over. If we could keep these things at bay for just a little while... Imagine what we could accomplish!
Yesterday my hubby asked me if my son was ok because he got up and didn't say anything. My hubby has problems reading social ques and people'e emotions. I really do think he has some asperger traits ;). No it's our routine... I may be up early but I don't like to talk. I want to wake up with my coffee, doing my social media. My son seems to be the same way. He gets up, we say good morning, he goes for a cigarette, grabs his energy drink and back up to his room sometimes to play his games, watch TV or 'think' depending on where his stability is at. As the day goes on we interact more.
Yes he is drinking energy drinks again. We have an agreement that if he keeps it to one a day and isn't drinking them at night, preferably in the morning than we buy him some when grocery shopping. So far he is doing this.
Remember the stones my hubby brought home for the back yard? Yesterday my husband asked for my son's help in placing them. Of course this meant my husband doing it but my son interacting with us while he did it. Then we were to go to the mall so I could get my pendant engraved.
Out of the blue my son asked about applying for a job at the corner store stating that if he had a job and some extra money his life would be perfect. Are you shocked? ;) I suggested the pet store that is just around the corner as I was thinking about applying there for some extra income. I had my son clip his nails and clean up a bit and we went over. They don't have applications so we have to do up a resume. They usually hire for summer hours.
Now I'm not sure what is motivating this however my son has been eating healthier. I have blogged about my own eating habits and what I eat for lunch. My son has also started eating the same things for snacks. Several times he would look at my lunch and take a cracker with brie cheese or a snap pea. Last week he started making his own plate of it including almonds!
Off and on he is now taking NAC (N-Acetyl Cysteine) in the mornings. He isn't giving me grief about taking his multi-vitamins or Omega 3. It's not everyday and sometimes he forgets but when he does he is now taking two of each! Yesterday I even got him to take a B50 complex. I'm trying not to make a big deal of it as if I did he would probably stop ;) It's part of me and my husband's routine to take our supplements after dinner with our tea while we watch TV so I'm just including my son in that routine without any fanfare and for now anyways I think it is helping.
When I brought up the B50 my son asked what does it do. Does is have the sun vitamin? No that's vitamin D, I think. We take it to be healthier. My son stated he didn't want to be healthier because he doesn't want to have more energy during the day. Some old thinking/issues rearing their little head that I refer to as his ODD. I replied: Do you see me jumping around with lots of energy? It will just make you healthier not more energetic. He took it. Although he forgot to take his Omega 3. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. ;)
Tomorrow it will be one week since my son stopped taking his Olanzapine. He is still being compliant with 6 mg of Invega as he says he doesn't mind this one. So he is only on one medication. Honestly I was expecting that we would be in a pretty bad spot by now. While voices have emerged or what my son is referring to as thoughts... Everything else seems to be holding steady. His appetite is good. Fairly good actually as he is usually asking me now what time my hubby is getting home from work so that we can have supper/dinner. In fact he usually asks me earlier in the day what we are having for dinner and will sometimes ask if we can have a different side dish. Whenever it's rice he asks me to make extra for him. I'm glad my cooking skills are improving ;) So far he is still on a good sleep schedule. He goes to bed when hubby and I do which is anywhere between 8 and 9. He was up at 9 this morning and rarely goes past 10:30. He is sometimes up earlier in the night for a cigarette and something to eat but goes right back to bed. There has been no sleeping on the sofa!
One night it was cute because hubby wasn't working the next day, so we stayed up later watching TV. I think it was around 10, which is really late for us, my son asks: Isn't it bedtime? He was tired and wanted to go to bed but I guess he was waiting for us to go too. Our routines may be hard to implement and his ODD may flair up here and there but they are really helping him.
Whether it's diet or Saint Michael or routine and boundaries... I don't know but I'm glad, knock on wood, that we have managed at least for now to keep my son from going to far in the wrong direction. I know that the end of the month is coming and yes we will probably be dealing with a 'hiccup' and alcohol but every day that we are not is an accomplishment and a step in the right direction.
Today it is raining so hubby came home early from work. They went to go exchange cigarettes. My son has decided he wants to roll them. My hubby wasn't happy with his last carton either. Oi... They worked it out last night. Since what they are returning is what hubby and I paid for then my son doesn't get back the money and instead my hubby will us it to buy my son his tobacco and rolling papers.
When they get back we are going to take my son to get his blood work done for the family doctor and his physical.
His caseworker from PACT was just here to drop off his meds and a copy of another letter she sent to British Columbia disability. I guess because my son hasn't been attending their Wednesday outings he is at risk for losing his spot with this. I can understand that as they have a lot of clients and ones who want to participate. Will have to put more energy into this and hopefully he will attend this Wednesday's outing.
I'm off to do some dishes, get dressed and wait for my boys to come back.
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Her story can be found here: Wikipedia - Saint Dymphna
My prayer to her:
I decided that I wanted a pendent for my necklace of her so my husband made it my birthday present. Saturday morning we went to a store that carries them. In the beginning I was thinking about getting three of them. One for me, my son and my daughter. Yesterday I had mine engraved with the initials of both of my children.
While at the store discussing Saints the clerk mentioned Saint Michael who is an Archangel. I knew that he was an Archangel however I know little of him beyond that. He is the patron saint of chivalry and warriors. The sick and the suffering also consider him to be their patron. The serpent that he is slaying in depictions of him represents evil. He is seen as one who protects against evil.
His story can be found here: Wikipedia - Saint Michael (Archangel)
My son's name is Michael... It just made sense so I got my son Saint Michael he does need help fighting his demons or evil entities. When I saw the detail of Michael's sword as it slayed the serpent... My son's hallucinations involve him creating armor to protect himself and he enjoys playing online games that involve armor etc. When we got home I took it to him and put it on him explaining who Saint Michael was. I also got him a medallion he can carry around that says: My son. You may have outgrown my lap but you will never outgrow my heart. I couldn't find one similar for my daughter. :(
I blogged a bit ago about my son wanting stuffed animals or stuffies as he calls them :). For awhile he wasn't paying much attention to them however recently he is back to cuddling with them. I know because I helped to arrange them last night before I did what has become our night time activity of me scratching and rubbing his back and head.
I know that sometimes my writing here can sound fairly negative. It's because this is my place to vent my thoughts and feelings and sort them out. Getting them out here means that they won't be directed at my son. Perhaps my hubby at times ;) but not my son. I can't recall the last time that I even raised my voice to him. Certainly not since we moved or since I've been on the Venlafaxine, so a couple of months. My husband says that he has seen a change in my son with how he is with me since I went to British Columbia to get him and that my son loves me more then I give him credit for. He may be right. I do know it's different now. My son spends more time sitting on the same sofa as us when we are watching TV. He spends more time having tea and watching TV with us. In fact if I don't think to ask my son to join us then my husband does because he doesn't want my son spending to much time in his room alone.
Despite our issues at times, I never need to wonder why I love my husband. I know that he finds all this frustrating at times, as I do, because we have seen how good my son can be. I don't mean good in behavior but good as in stable, clean and basically schizophrenia symptom free. It's hard to accept that as good as my son is doing right now and all things considered he is doing good, that this is the best we can expect because... Honestly why should we when we know that it can be so much better.
It's sad because instances like February and the shelter happen and they are no one's fault. It's when addiction, schizophrenia and oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) take over. If we could keep these things at bay for just a little while... Imagine what we could accomplish!
Yesterday my hubby asked me if my son was ok because he got up and didn't say anything. My hubby has problems reading social ques and people'e emotions. I really do think he has some asperger traits ;). No it's our routine... I may be up early but I don't like to talk. I want to wake up with my coffee, doing my social media. My son seems to be the same way. He gets up, we say good morning, he goes for a cigarette, grabs his energy drink and back up to his room sometimes to play his games, watch TV or 'think' depending on where his stability is at. As the day goes on we interact more.
Yes he is drinking energy drinks again. We have an agreement that if he keeps it to one a day and isn't drinking them at night, preferably in the morning than we buy him some when grocery shopping. So far he is doing this.
Remember the stones my hubby brought home for the back yard? Yesterday my husband asked for my son's help in placing them. Of course this meant my husband doing it but my son interacting with us while he did it. Then we were to go to the mall so I could get my pendant engraved.
Out of the blue my son asked about applying for a job at the corner store stating that if he had a job and some extra money his life would be perfect. Are you shocked? ;) I suggested the pet store that is just around the corner as I was thinking about applying there for some extra income. I had my son clip his nails and clean up a bit and we went over. They don't have applications so we have to do up a resume. They usually hire for summer hours.
Now I'm not sure what is motivating this however my son has been eating healthier. I have blogged about my own eating habits and what I eat for lunch. My son has also started eating the same things for snacks. Several times he would look at my lunch and take a cracker with brie cheese or a snap pea. Last week he started making his own plate of it including almonds!
Off and on he is now taking NAC (N-Acetyl Cysteine) in the mornings. He isn't giving me grief about taking his multi-vitamins or Omega 3. It's not everyday and sometimes he forgets but when he does he is now taking two of each! Yesterday I even got him to take a B50 complex. I'm trying not to make a big deal of it as if I did he would probably stop ;) It's part of me and my husband's routine to take our supplements after dinner with our tea while we watch TV so I'm just including my son in that routine without any fanfare and for now anyways I think it is helping.
When I brought up the B50 my son asked what does it do. Does is have the sun vitamin? No that's vitamin D, I think. We take it to be healthier. My son stated he didn't want to be healthier because he doesn't want to have more energy during the day. Some old thinking/issues rearing their little head that I refer to as his ODD. I replied: Do you see me jumping around with lots of energy? It will just make you healthier not more energetic. He took it. Although he forgot to take his Omega 3. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. ;)
Tomorrow it will be one week since my son stopped taking his Olanzapine. He is still being compliant with 6 mg of Invega as he says he doesn't mind this one. So he is only on one medication. Honestly I was expecting that we would be in a pretty bad spot by now. While voices have emerged or what my son is referring to as thoughts... Everything else seems to be holding steady. His appetite is good. Fairly good actually as he is usually asking me now what time my hubby is getting home from work so that we can have supper/dinner. In fact he usually asks me earlier in the day what we are having for dinner and will sometimes ask if we can have a different side dish. Whenever it's rice he asks me to make extra for him. I'm glad my cooking skills are improving ;) So far he is still on a good sleep schedule. He goes to bed when hubby and I do which is anywhere between 8 and 9. He was up at 9 this morning and rarely goes past 10:30. He is sometimes up earlier in the night for a cigarette and something to eat but goes right back to bed. There has been no sleeping on the sofa!
One night it was cute because hubby wasn't working the next day, so we stayed up later watching TV. I think it was around 10, which is really late for us, my son asks: Isn't it bedtime? He was tired and wanted to go to bed but I guess he was waiting for us to go too. Our routines may be hard to implement and his ODD may flair up here and there but they are really helping him.
Whether it's diet or Saint Michael or routine and boundaries... I don't know but I'm glad, knock on wood, that we have managed at least for now to keep my son from going to far in the wrong direction. I know that the end of the month is coming and yes we will probably be dealing with a 'hiccup' and alcohol but every day that we are not is an accomplishment and a step in the right direction.
Today it is raining so hubby came home early from work. They went to go exchange cigarettes. My son has decided he wants to roll them. My hubby wasn't happy with his last carton either. Oi... They worked it out last night. Since what they are returning is what hubby and I paid for then my son doesn't get back the money and instead my hubby will us it to buy my son his tobacco and rolling papers.
When they get back we are going to take my son to get his blood work done for the family doctor and his physical.
His caseworker from PACT was just here to drop off his meds and a copy of another letter she sent to British Columbia disability. I guess because my son hasn't been attending their Wednesday outings he is at risk for losing his spot with this. I can understand that as they have a lot of clients and ones who want to participate. Will have to put more energy into this and hopefully he will attend this Wednesday's outing.
I'm off to do some dishes, get dressed and wait for my boys to come back.
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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