Blueberry to Kiwi and a heartbeat.

Say hello to the newest member of our family. Fur-baby Kiwi.

At first my daughter named her Blueberry as her eyes were blue however I'm guessing just as human babies are usually born with blue eyes that change color, so too do kittens.

It has taken some time for Gucci to adjust as she can be a bit of a tyrant where Gucci is concerned. Gucci seems to be her favorite toy and Gucci's tail her favorite thing to stalk. On a good note, Gucci is getting more exercise! Now Gucci tolerates her napping beside her.

Yes I know, Gucci is a bit overweight. About 2 pounds according to the last vet visit. I have cut down on her wet food so hopefully she will lose a bit.

Kiwi has taken a liking to sleeping on my pillow when she sleeps with me. Gucci always wakes me up in the morning, usually between 5:30-6:30, by licking, head-butting or little nips on my ear if I ignore her too long. This morning I woke up to Kiwi on my pillow licking one side of my face and Gucci on the other side of pillow licking the other side of my face. Hard to wake up in a bad mood when you are being greeted with that!

2 weeks ago my daughter had her first appointment with the OBGYN. Neither one of us was expecting to hear what we did. The baby's heartbeat. We both cried... She has her first ultrasound appointment tomorrow.

My daughter is currently upstairs, in bed. She should be on her way to school. My daughter is being my daughter... Doing things the hard way. For the past 2 weeks she has only attended school 2 days each week.

Hubby called this morning to ask if she was up and should he text her. No. She only lies anyways and says she is up when she isn't. According to her she isn't lying because she sticks her foot of the bed so therefor her foot is up. Cute the first couple of times... Now, not so much. I have no intentions of ruining my mornings by calling and calling her until she gets snippy about it. It's her schooling and her tuition that she will have to pay back.

It's somewhat hard to not get pissy about her old group of friends that insist on contributing to her being up late, talking on the phone, however I lay the blame where it belongs, at her feet. I may not have to worry about that one too much shortly though. I have been telling her that I'm not going to pay her phone bill if it keeps up. I guess soon they are going to cut off outgoing calls. Good.

The other thing is Netflix. She watches it til all hours of the night/morning. I have been warning her that she won't be able to watch it on my internet... Last night I disconnected it. She can watch it on her phone however she will just be running up a bigger bill.

I didn't see her yesterday. She stayed in her room all day and didn't come out until I went to bed, even though I called her for dinner. *sigh*

Diagnosed, non-diagnosed...! ;)

Friday my son was taken to the long-term treatment facility. His Nana called crying that he was gone... I told her half way through the conversation that it's a good thing I'm a calm person and asked: Gone where? before I reacted. He has called me a couple of times to ask for money. Last night I asked him if he would sign a consent for me to talk to his doctor there. No, he wants to keep everything between him and his doctor. He asked if I would send out the laptop. I told him that I'm not comfortable with it being where I can't keep an eye on it. He could easily sell a $3000 laptop for $100 if he wanted marijuana bad enough. Then he suggested that perhaps he should come back here. Only if power of attorney is signed which is apparently against his religion. He agreed it is. :)

As for how he is. It's hard to tell. From what his Nana tells me, not good at all. He denies having any hallucination symptoms, voices etc when talking to me. He sounds fairly in the present however it's only for short periods that I'm talking to him.

Need to get ready for work...

Mom
BarbieBF

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Getting back on track.

I don't have much to blog about today which is a good thing :)

I wanted to take the time to note the positives that I have been seeing over the last couple of days with my son. His mood is a lot more stable. Two days ago he wanted a new pen. Actually he wanted two of them but Staples only had the one in stock. When my son is recovering he takes an interest in pens and notebooks as he likes to write, draw or doodle what he is thinking about. I consider this a good sign that he is able to get his thoughts organized enough to try to get them out onto paper. Yesterday he wanted a couple more small notebooks and a day planner. While looking for the 'right' notebook he joked with me that this was his OCD. He liked the idea of a day planner as he would like to start being organized. To borrow one of his phrases 'I'm down with that.' I have tried to help him be prepared for appointments etc by putting calendar pages on his wall however he rarely looked at them. Hopefully this approach will help since it is his idea. I don't think he realizes how much his ODD can cause him to turn his back on things that I do just because... well because it's ODD ;) I have noticed that his manners are coming back. He is back to saying thank you for dinner and the other things that I have been getting him. When he is asking for things he is polite about it and accepts when the answer is no. He has asked a couple of times for his disability money early. Although the first time was for money to 'party' with his sister before she left so saying no to that one was easy. Instead we all went to a park so that they could spend time together outdoors. They had fun feeding this chipmunk. Cute little guy!

Yesterday it was to buy a game subscription to World of Warcraft. Sorry mom is broke right now. And I am! 'How can you be so broke?' All those little things add up plus the road trip out west, new motor etc. He graciously accepted me saying no. He spent some time with hubby and I watching our TV shows and doodling in his new day planner.

Last night when I got his pills ready for him it was with the Invega instead of the Risperidone. I gave him the pharmacy printout of what the medication is for and so that he could look it up online by it's generic name Paliperidone. I pointed out its uses: used to treat mental/mood disorders and help you to think more clearly and positively about yourself, feel less agitated, and take a more active part in everyday life. One of the first things he saw when looking it up was that it was used to treat depression and I think he was happy about that. I'm not sure what time he went to bed although I know it was after 2 but when I got up this morning he awoke from sleeping on the sofa stating that he had had the best night sleep. I suggested he could use more sleep still and he did go back to bed. Now I'm trying to get him up as his nurse is supposed to be here any minute...

His nurse just left. Some discussion about the Invega. So far he hasn't noticed anything different, not noticing anything bad I think is a good thing. Talked about his thoughts on moving out, getting his own place and the type of place he would be open to. He seems agreeable to the idea of sharing a house with others as really his options are limited at the moment with his current income or lack thereof. Talked a little about schooling or getting a job and what the best thing for him would be. Schooling can be put off for a little bit however it will need to be looked at again. Hopefully once/if the Invega works as I'm hoping it will. His nurse let him know that she will continue to be his main nurse but that the family support worker I met with will soon be his main case worker.

I've been trying to get myself re-organized. Sent an email to our insurance broker about the past two bounced payments. Noted on my calender upcoming bill due dates. Finances have gotten a little out of control and I need to get us back on track with that too. Reminded my son that we still need to get his blood work done so hopefully I can get him in the shower today as well.

Mom
BarbieBF

Oops. Things not always as they appear...

Most of the time I think I have a pretty good grasp on what is happening but sometimes I have to acknowledge that I can be wrong. Yes I can do that ;) Yesterday my son asked me if I had seen his vaporizer as he thought someone had stolen it. I told him that I had it and why. He had a good explanation. During our last grocery shop I bought him a light wave speaker. He is using the charged vaporizer to power the speaker so that he can move it around with him. He pointed out that he can't use the vaporizer for weed as he would have to make it into liquid first. Yes I know but I couldn't rule out him doing this. So for now the use of the vaporizer has been explained.

My son is struggling right now and I'm not to sure how to help him. He told me yesterday that he has been asked to not attend the YMCA for schooling as he is not progressing. I will have to call or email them on Monday as I'm thinking there is a little more to it then that. I remember when he had his first appointment with them to sign up, being told that they have some who have been there for a long time as they can work at their own pace, so I'm not to sure I understand what is happening. Perhaps he is being nudged into applying himself more? He said that he can't do it so he will have to start looking for a job. If he can't apply himself to 6 hours a week schooling then chances are he can't apply himself to learn a job. He seems to think that working is easy and takes no mental effort. Delusion or immature thinking? Since he doesn't have much personal experience to draw from on this then I'm thinking lack of experience or immature thinking. We both agreed that he will have to learn for himself that it does take mental effort to do a job.

He said that he can't put into words the 'stress' that he is currently experiencing that maybe one day he could explain it to me so that I can understand. Personally I don't think that he even understands the stress that he is feeling as he doesn't want to or can't understand the negative impact of symptoms. It's times like this that I myself have to re-evaluate my opinion on whether or not my son has schizophrenia. I explained to him that there is more to schizophrenia then positive symptoms like hallucinations and voices. There is also negative symptoms which get in the way of people's ability to cope with normal life stresses. On the surface his life can not, in my opinion, get much easier. I pointed out that he was doing great up until the Adderall and nothing else has changed so it's his inability to cope that needs to be looked at. I took a leap and suggested that maybe we need to look at upping his anti-psychotics for a little bit until things can get under control again. He doesn't want to be on pills for the rest of his life. 'I would rather die...' My heart hurt when I told him that he may need to be on pills for the rest of his life if he does in fact have schizophrenia.

He seems to understand that he needs help however he wants to be prescribed benzodiazepines even though he knows that he will not have an easy time getting them. He also doesn't want anti-depressants. I know that he doesn't like being on the Clozapine and doesn't want to be on another anti-psychotic since in his eyes he doesn't need them. I don't know how to help him come to terms with this and I am afraid to push and cause his ODD to flare up. I don't know if it's his ADHD or schizophrenia symptoms but for the past couple of days he has been pretty jittery. Not really hyper like I have seen where he is punching his bed or hitting walls or jumping like a 5 year old but like a muted undertone of something not right. Maybe it's time to look into another medication. I know that he has been tried on a lot of them but they were during times of chronic high marijuana use and nothing seemed to help except the Clozapine. I have heard of some good results with Latuda. It's an atypical or new generation AP that seems to work on blocking or antagonizing dopamine D2 receptors. No I don't really understand exactly what this means except that it helps to limit the amount of dopamine my son's brain has to work with. Clozapine is also one. I look at these things as I believe my son's brain produces too much dopamine and especially after the Adderall certain types of medications will do him more harm then good.

Because of his legs going pretty non-stop I asked him last night if he wanted a Neurontin. The last time I gave him one he didn't take it so I'm never to sure if I should be giving it to him or not however I do know that despite his tendency to try and abuse it that it does help with his anxiety and it does seem to help keep his mood more stable. It works on the central nervous system. I'm hoping that he took the one that I gave him last night. He was up this morning when I got up just before 6 stating that he had been asleep for a couple of hours but woke up and was just having a smoke. He seemed too alert to have already been asleep. His pill dish was empty and he is sleeping sound now so I'm guessing he took them shortly before I got up. One of the benefits to my insomnia is that being up and down all night allowed me to keep a closer eye on him so that I could nicely nag him into taking his pills and going to bed. Maybe knowing that my daughter is around and can get me up if needed is allowing me to sleep better.

I almost feel like we are on a precipice or the edge of a cliff and I don't know if we are going to go over or manage to shuffle ourselves out of harms way. I don't know how to move us forward and away from this edge without causing harm yet I also feel that if we don't move forward then we will inevitably succumb to gravity and fall of the edge anyways. We can not stay teetering as we are. Perhaps I can but for my son it is not a good place.

Mom
BarbieBF

Easy peasy with a little patience mixed in... Folie à deux

With a little juggling my son got his watch yesterday. We took a taxi to the mall then to the grocery store where my hubby met us as we were checking out. Chiropractor then home to order pizza for supper. While waiting for the pizza hubby took my son back to the jewelers to adjust the band on his watch since it was too big. Oops, I should have had them do that when he bought it. We had to look up the discount price on my phone to show the jewelers as the price they had didn't match what was online. Thankfully that didn't take long to do as my son was showing signs of irritability with the sales clerk and my son got it for the online price. Whew! Originally an over $400.00 watch discounted to $190.00. Not bad!

Hubby took my daughter driving again while my son and I just vegged watching TV. Well the TV was on. My son was reading up on his new watch and I was dozing. By the time my hubby got back I was struggling to stay awake so it was off to bed for us. Another night that I didn't have to take Melatonin. I reminded my son about school and asked him if he wanted a Trazadone for sleep to which he replied no. I teased him a little bit that maybe tonight he could not forget to take his pills. He smiled and agreed. *fingers crossed* that things are finally starting to turn around. When my son can take my teasing without taking it as an insult that is a good sign. I woke up around 1:40 AM and he was sleeping on one of the sofa's while my daughter was watching I think another episode of Pretty Little Liars. His pill dish was empty! It took a couple of tries but I finally got him into bed. Every time I walk away he lies back down yet if I stand over him he gets irritated.

I slept in a bit this morning and didn't get up until almost 7. Started calling my son around 8. Finally got him up just before 9. School starts at 9. As much as I want him there on time I figure during times like this baby steps work best. I got out some clean cloths for him, got his backpack ready and filled his water bottle with iced tea. With some nice nagging, a lot of huns, sweethearts and pleases he got dressed, brushed his teeth when I asked him too and was finally ready to leave by 9:30. *pats self on back* As he was leaving he noticed an article that I was reading titled: Folie à deux: When Two People Go Insane Together. I was curious about couple psychosis due to a post I was reading on the Schizophrenia.com forum. Another good sign when my son notices or takes interest in things around him. Off to school he went and he even appeared to be in a good mood about it! He even noticed that I had filled his water bottle for him! I think I'm PMS'ing as for some reason I got a little choked up watching him leave. The normalcy of these situations seem to speak volumes to me, for which I am grateful, as they give me the hope that I need to keep fighting for my son's future.

The article I just spoke about got me thinking a little bit about the dynamics of the relationship between my son and his Nana. Folie à deux is a term that originated in psychiatry and was replaced by the term 'shared psychotic disorder', that is usually prevalent in couples but also happens within other family structures. The article states that: ... all that's really necessary is social isolation and a difficult-to-break connection between the two people. I'm not saying that my son's Nana is psychotic however I wonder if the stress of coping and living with my son for an extended period of time coupled with her unconditional, seemingly 'blind love' for my son has contributed to a very unhealthy view of the situation. I know that when things were bad that social isolation was certainly a factor. I know that her ability to step back and see a situation beyond what my son was telling her or seeing, from my point of view, become non-existent. Perhaps I am reaching as a way to deal with my own feelings of hurt that someone I do care about is unable to see me, what am I fighting for or what I think is the bigger picture. She seems to believe everything that my son tells her with apparent little regard for the facts. She has known me for over 22 years and while our relationship has had it's ups and downs as any in-law relationship would, that she could believe that I am who my son has sometimes painted me to be, truly is heartbreaking for me. For reasons that I will not write about here, I do know for a fact that her opinion of me is pretty low at the moment and she really does believe that I am not treating my son right. The sad part it that the only person that could probably fix this is my son himself. To fix it he would have to admit to her all the lies and manipulations that have been told. I certainly won't hold me breath on that one happening. The article states that forced separation should do the trick. While they are separated by distance they are not separate as when things are tough here she is but a sympathetic phone call away with only my son's, usually unstable, viewpoint being considered. I don't think he even calls her that much when things are going good which should speak volumes in my opinion however it is what it is. You can read the article here: http://io9.com/5955095/folie-a-deux-when-two-people-go-insane-together

My son just got back from school so I should go get my day started.

Mom
BarbieBF

Camping Trip. It's Behavioral...

I managed to sort of get organized for the camping trip. Got the salads made, even made some cheese flatbread and made sure to pack the coffee! My daughter also made some muffins. Chocolate chip and blueberry. Hubby worked on Friday so we were a little late getting to the campsite. Thankfully it is only about a 15 minute drive so hubby took my daughter and I up there first and we set up the tent while he came back to pick up my son and the remaining items.

I must say we did an awesome job and without losing our patience. I think it's been close to 20 years since I last set up a tent. Basically the same except now the poles are all connected which makes it a lot easier. It was starting to get dark when we decided to put together the lantern. I have used a camping lantern before but I didn't have to assemble it. By the time my daughter and I got it together it was dark. We had to sit in the car for light to read the instructions. By this time everyone was starving since I hadn't made supper yet. My intent was to have fire roasted corn on the cob and beef kabobs but that would have taken to long to prepare so it was boiled corn and hot-dogs instead. A white moth or butterfly decided to join us, staying attached to my son's cup for most of the meal. I regret not taking a pic.

We had a fire and shortly thereafter my hubby, my daughter and myself went to bed. I took a sleeping pill since hubby couldn't bring his CPAP machine for his sleep apnea so I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. My son didn't come to bed until much later. So much for hoping that this would help get him back into a better sleep schedule. He stated he wanted to stay up with the fire and go for a walk later. Not sure what to make of him still wanting to go for walks late at night however he isn't going for walks during the day so I'm hoping there is nothing more to it then just walking...

I was the first one up the next morning and enjoyed the quiet, my coffee and the wifi! Recently upgraded my phone to a Smartphone so I can still keep an eye on my Facebook, other multimedia and the Schizophrenia.com forum when I'm not at home. Granted it takes so much longer to view things but I'm having fun with it anyways. Eventually everyone else got up. We had breakfast, made a trip home for forgotten bathing suites and went to the park for a dip in the pool. 1.8 acre pool and it was cold! Refreshing yes since it was hot out that day but still brrr.

My son walked out a little bit then went back in and spent most of the time outside the pool area, smoking cigarettes. I'm surprised he's not chain smoking although at times it is pretty close. I stayed in and swam for a bit with my daughter, making sure to not go in water that was too deep. I usually joke that I must have drowned in a past life as I have never gotten over having a healthy respect (or fear) for water. Went back to the campsite and had the salads with tin foil grilled beef, sweet peppers and onions. My son was most looking forward to the fire again so it was started, died out and rekindled again once it got dark enough. At the campsite office he had picked up something called mystical fire which is supposed to add colors to your fire. It did. It's supposed to last 30-45 minutes. I didn't. Lasted for about 5 minutes and while it was pretty while it lasted it was somewhat disappointing. My son was somewhat disappointed when he first found out that I didn't bring the items needed for s'mores however I find it such a waste. Who eats more then one? I did bring marshmallows which appeased him although he only roasted one. My hubby roasted some marshmallows too. Turns out this was the first time that he had done it.

Thanks to The Weather Network app on my phone I saw that it was calling for a lot of rain starting at 2 in the morning with the risk of thunder showers. The thought of packing up our stuff in the rain was not appealing so after enjoying the fire we decided to pack up and head home instead of waiting until morning. My son and hubby took home the first load while my daughter and I dis-assembled the tent and packed up what was left. Out of the blue my son gave me a hug good-bye when he was leaving with my hubby to drop off the first load. A nice surprise!

His nurse did call me back on Friday. The reason her visit with him was so short was because he had asked her to leave. He wasn't impressed with her questioning him about what he had said to his Nana about me and of course he downplayed it and denied going into any details about it. She told me that he did acknowledge that he had taken some of his Nana's Percocets and talked to her about drinking and that what he had said about me was him venting when he was drunk that he didn't really mean it. I like his nurse however I sometimes wonder if she has enough experience to deal with situations like this. Or perhaps I am expecting to much? Since I don't have a direct line to my son's psychiatrist, he takes his ques from her. In her opinion what she is seeing with my son is not psychosis related and is behavioral. Based on her opinion his pdoc does not think that he needs to see my son. I acknowledge that what we are seeing is behavioral however isn't all of it behavioral? In my opinion you can not separate one from the other. When someone is experiencing psychosis, addiction/withdrawal or unstable mood then their behavior is affected. My son does not randomly become a negative person. When he is unstable his mood is unstable. When he is experiencing stress/symptoms then it is being triggered by something, be it psychosis and/or weed or also in this case Adderall and Percocets. Again I question the mindset of separating them as statistically up to 50% of people diagnosed with schizophrenia have addiction problems. For my son they go hand in hand as weed triggers his psychosis. So telling me that what I'm seeing in my son is behavioral and not psychosis related does not set well with me. The workers I dealt with in the Early Intervention Program that my son used to be in seemed to have a better understanding of this or at the very least I felt like they validated my concerns better. My son has a certain 'look' around his eyes that indicates that he is not ok. While it seems to be diminishing it is still there. I guess if you don't know him than it could be seen as him being tired but he has been getting enough sleep to not warrant looking like that.

I also talked to his nurse about setting up an appointment with a program called Ready4Life. They help to transition people into independent living. I have told my son that I requested this since he doesn't want to follow the rules here then it's time that he take this step. It's not what I want and I don't even know what to say about this except that I also have to make decisions for my own life and having my son continue to bring weed into my home is not something that I can support.

Yesterday during our second attempt at taking my daughter to one of the larger malls, I reminded my son that he had school the next day. He has been off for three weeks. He reminded me of the conversation he thought we had the previous day discussing him not going. This conversation did not take place. He stated that he has not been feeling well and that he was too tired to go. He was not to tired to go for breakfast or to the mall or to stay up most of the night. I reminded him again last night before I went to bed that he had school. This morning I did decide to let him sleep a bit more and let him go in late. When I did wake him up after 9 he said that he was too tired that he hadn't gone to bed until after 7. I was up so I know this isn't true also it was not my choice to stay up, it was his. He can take his pills and go to bed whenever he wants. I also found one of his Lithium pills on his desk this morning that he says he forgot to take. I put all of his pills in one dish so he had to have removed it himself to not take it since he swallows them all at once directly from the dish. He decided that he is willing to lose his laptop for the day and not go. We have never ironed out the details of how long he loses his laptop for and I have never agreed that it is only one day. The not so small detail in all this is that technically it is my laptop. It will be his when he has paid me the almost $3000.00 that is cost me and my hubby. He can accept the conditions of it or not have the privilege of using it. He was coherent enough talking to me that I know that he was capable of getting up if he wanted to. Since he wouldn't I calmly unplugged it and let him know that he can have it back once he is back in school. Hopefully that will be on Wednesday.

It's after 12 and time for me to get some things done. I probably won't get my son to his monthly blood work today that is now due. Need to start some laundry, vacuum, do some cleaning and bake some bread.

Mom
BarbieBF

A girl and a broken desk

Later in the day yesterday as I watched my son and my husband put together a new computer desk I was struck by how nice a day it had been. I watched my son and husband read instructions, compare parts and overall just bond over some pieces of wood. Due to things beyond my son's control he has not had much of an opportunity to do things like this. It's times like this that I realize just how lucky I am. My husband isn't my son's bio father and I sometimes give him a hard time that he isn't understanding enough. He certainly understands much better then he did a year ago and I know that he does try. Without hesitation he took the time to be with my son yesterday to put together his new desk. Usually it's me helping my husband so I was fairly impressed that between the two of them they managed to get it put together, correctly. Three times my son thanked me and my husband for getting him this new desk. His old one had broken earlier in the day. I wasn't surprised when I heard the crash from his room as I had been in there tidying up earlier in the day and saw how unstable it was. Per my son: 'I could not have asked for a better desk, it is perfect.' And it didn't cost us an arm and a leg. $40 at XS Cargo.

I was tidying up his room because he was bringing a girl home after school. She is also attending the YMCA to get her GED or high school. My son brought a girl home! How cool is that? I even liked her. She was here when his old desk fell apart and it was her idea to check out XS Cargo. She helped him clean up the mess. She was polite, respectful and told me that I was gorgeous. Even thought my nitpicking at my husband was cute. Yup, I like her. Hopefully the girl she is showing me is the real her. Time will tell. She taught my son how to blow smoke bubbles. They are kind of cool. When the bubble bursts the smoke escapes. She came with us to XS Cargo and to McDonald's for dinner. She wasn't embarrassed to eat in front of us and finished my poutine. Did I tell you she thought I was gorgeous!

I ended up doing my son's laundry for him. It just wasn't worth ruining a day over me being black and white about him doing his own laundry. I don't mind helping him with it on occasion. We still have to do the blood work and I still have to call the GP. Yesterday got a little away from me.

The guy from Dell or Alienware showed up and did whatever to my son's laptop. I guess how the keys light up on an Alienware laptop is pretty major and my son's wasn't lighting up properly. I guess whatever he did may have made it worse... As long as it isn't costing me any money I'm letting my son handle it.

The Adderall... Some good and some bad it would seem. He liked the affect. Liked it a lot I think. He felt good all day and he noticed that he was able to concentrate on his school work and wanted to do it. This may be a first. Already talking about wanting the dose upped from 10 mg. He took it at just after 8 am yesterday morning so by 8 pm last night he could feel the affects wearing off. He didn't like it. Understandable. Whenever you get relief from something it usually seems worse when you get it back. He ended up asking for a Gabapentin/Neurontin. He has been on this since September. It's an anti-convulsant and he was put on it, I do believe, to ensure he didn't have withdrawal or seizures while being weaned off of Valium. It stayed. While we are not sure why he gets the relief/affect that he does it helps him a lot with his anxiety symptoms. I don't know if part of what he experienced last night may have to do with the fact that he is not used to being physically tired. He felt like he wanted to go to bed. Not a usual feeling for him. I'm wondering if his nervous system being stimulated during the day will cause a sort of tiredness or coming down as the affects wear off. Something for us to discuss with PACT today.

I need to make some bread today. Homemade bread. Yum! I saw a picture on Facebook of my sister's homemade dinner rolls and they looked sooo good. So I have been giving homemade bread making a try. My husband decided that he likes my bread for his work sandwiches so I have to make him some more today. Earlier this week I tried cinnamon raisin bread. My son says it needs more raisins and cinnamon. I think my favorite one so far is flax and sunflower seed. Flax seeds are supposed to be good for you and doesn't this look good...

Mom
BarbieBF