Since about Wednesday of last week I have been watching my son struggle. At first I thought it might be residual from his break. Symptoms that just didn't want to give in that easily. However it's been about 5 days and each day I can see where they are getting harder for my son to deal with. Voices or entities that are becoming more entity then voice (seen and heard). It's the Invega leaving his system. Oh joy! He is due for his next shot tomorrow however I called PACT this morning and his nurse is going to try and make here today. I have asked if they can give him this every 3 weeks instead of every 4 weeks as he is not going to be able to recover and gain stability if he is having break through symptoms every 3 weeks. His nurse did come to administer the shot. He doesn't like them and wants to go back to taking pills every day. Reminded him he has a tendency to stop taking them, which he is fine with :)
Just found out today that his Lithium was upped to 600 mg per day instead of 300 mg. I found this out through the pharmacy as I was informed that it had been filled and was waiting for his disability drug card. Of course no one has heard from disability yet. His case worker called again and this time left a message with a supervisor. PACT has been trying to transfer his prescriptions to the pharmacy they use however payment for this is still not taken care of. For now I will have to pay for his Lithium and I'm glad that they upped it to 600 mg as maybe it will help him to feel better.
This morning he told me that he was unhealthy, that he could feel it. Each day is questions about the spirits. Last night he asked me about Jesus. Jesus is not a topic that I wish to discuss with him while he is experiencing these symptoms as it's based on his voices/entities and their very child-like and most of the time nonsensical (having no meaning, making no sense) words. He did tell me one day that he thought they were stupid and he admitted today that they were irritating him.
Yesterday we were at the mall and we got our picture taken with Santa. I had planned on us watching the Santa Clause Parade however I seemed to have been the only one up for standing in the cold to watch it so we only watched the first 20 or so floats. After walking around the mall taking care of some things and waiting in line for Santa, my son was pooped out. I did get his cell phone unlocked so that I can add him to my current plan. He wanted a new cell phone but I said no. He already has two cells that haven't been paid for and I have no intention of setting him up with another one that will lock me into any type of contract for it. It will take up to 7 days for the phone to be unlocked then I can add him to my plan, month to month, just talk and text. He doesn't need data since he has a laptop that he can do all that stuff on. I do worry about leaving him home alone now that I don't have a home phone so this way he will be able to contact me if he needs me.
He has been wanting to drink alcohol since the day he visited his friend and had a beer. I think between that and his voices he is looking for some relief. I have managed to talk him out of it so far. His friend popped by the other day then asked him to come over. That was a worrying conversation for me. His friend wants me son to move in with him and his girlfriend. He is also planning on taking over the apartment next door from his dad. Both bad news as far as I'm concerned. I have already started looking for another place to live. *fingers crossed* for me that I find something soon! After that visit my son checked his bank account and somehow had money in it. Talked him out of spending it on alcohol if I got him one of his Christmas presents early which was an upgrade to his World of Warcraft account. That held until last night when I had to remind him that he had promised me that he wouldn't spend it on alcohol and I was holding him to that promise. Of course he asked again today and I said no. Hopefully the shot he got today will help to relieve his voices some so that he doesn't want to medicate them with alcohol so he can relax.
Watching him be so tired today, as I think he had problems getting to sleep last night, is saddening. Even with the Trazodone his mind didn't want to stop and he ended up sleeping on the love seat in the living room. Hubby was on big sofa... Hubby spend some time on Sunday teaching my son how to shave as I wasn't to sure how capable my son was at this point to do it on his own. His cognition/thinking is still not back to normal for him. Today he asked about getting a Christmas present early, any present, to make him feel happy. I gave him one. It was a Hot Wheels race track that I thought might entertain him after he bought some Hot Wheels cars once shopping. He seemed to really like the idea however once it was set up he just found it confusing. Yes this disease is frustrating. This sadness is coming from within and no toy is going to fix it and certainly not if he can't think to even play with it.
I will pick up his Lithium tonight and hopefully between an upped dose of that and his shot today then by tomorrow he will start to come around and feel better.
Mom
BarbieBF
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