Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Easy peasy with a little patience mixed in... Folie à deux

With a little juggling my son got his watch yesterday. We took a taxi to the mall then to the grocery store where my hubby met us as we were checking out. Chiropractor then home to order pizza for supper. While waiting for the pizza hubby took my son back to the jewelers to adjust the band on his watch since it was too big. Oops, I should have had them do that when he bought it. We had to look up the discount price on my phone to show the jewelers as the price they had didn't match what was online. Thankfully that didn't take long to do as my son was showing signs of irritability with the sales clerk and my son got it for the online price. Whew! Originally an over $400.00 watch discounted to $190.00. Not bad!

Hubby took my daughter driving again while my son and I just vegged watching TV. Well the TV was on. My son was reading up on his new watch and I was dozing. By the time my hubby got back I was struggling to stay awake so it was off to bed for us. Another night that I didn't have to take Melatonin. I reminded my son about school and asked him if he wanted a Trazadone for sleep to which he replied no. I teased him a little bit that maybe tonight he could not forget to take his pills. He smiled and agreed. *fingers crossed* that things are finally starting to turn around. When my son can take my teasing without taking it as an insult that is a good sign. I woke up around 1:40 AM and he was sleeping on one of the sofa's while my daughter was watching I think another episode of Pretty Little Liars. His pill dish was empty! It took a couple of tries but I finally got him into bed. Every time I walk away he lies back down yet if I stand over him he gets irritated.

I slept in a bit this morning and didn't get up until almost 7. Started calling my son around 8. Finally got him up just before 9. School starts at 9. As much as I want him there on time I figure during times like this baby steps work best. I got out some clean cloths for him, got his backpack ready and filled his water bottle with iced tea. With some nice nagging, a lot of huns, sweethearts and pleases he got dressed, brushed his teeth when I asked him too and was finally ready to leave by 9:30. *pats self on back* As he was leaving he noticed an article that I was reading titled: Folie à deux: When Two People Go Insane Together. I was curious about couple psychosis due to a post I was reading on the forum. Another good sign when my son notices or takes interest in things around him. Off to school he went and he even appeared to be in a good mood about it! He even noticed that I had filled his water bottle for him! I think I'm PMS'ing as for some reason I got a little choked up watching him leave. The normalcy of these situations seem to speak volumes to me, for which I am grateful, as they give me the hope that I need to keep fighting for my son's future.

The article I just spoke about got me thinking a little bit about the dynamics of the relationship between my son and his Nana. Folie à deux is a term that originated in psychiatry and was replaced by the term 'shared psychotic disorder', that is usually prevalent in couples but also happens within other family structures. The article states that: ... all that's really necessary is social isolation and a difficult-to-break connection between the two people. I'm not saying that my son's Nana is psychotic however I wonder if the stress of coping and living with my son for an extended period of time coupled with her unconditional, seemingly 'blind love' for my son has contributed to a very unhealthy view of the situation. I know that when things were bad that social isolation was certainly a factor. I know that her ability to step back and see a situation beyond what my son was telling her or seeing, from my point of view, become non-existent. Perhaps I am reaching as a way to deal with my own feelings of hurt that someone I do care about is unable to see me, what am I fighting for or what I think is the bigger picture. She seems to believe everything that my son tells her with apparent little regard for the facts. She has known me for over 22 years and while our relationship has had it's ups and downs as any in-law relationship would, that she could believe that I am who my son has sometimes painted me to be, truly is heartbreaking for me. For reasons that I will not write about here, I do know for a fact that her opinion of me is pretty low at the moment and she really does believe that I am not treating my son right. The sad part it that the only person that could probably fix this is my son himself. To fix it he would have to admit to her all the lies and manipulations that have been told. I certainly won't hold me breath on that one happening. The article states that forced separation should do the trick. While they are separated by distance they are not separate as when things are tough here she is but a sympathetic phone call away with only my son's, usually unstable, viewpoint being considered. I don't think he even calls her that much when things are going good which should speak volumes in my opinion however it is what it is. You can read the article here:

My son just got back from school so I should go get my day started.


No comments:

Post a Comment