My son was a little hyper yesterday. A fair amount of jumping around and talking a lot. He has always had underlying hyperactive tendencies. Sometimes they come out in a pretty noticeable way for a 20 year old. Seeing how high he can jump or wanting to show me that he can jump and reach the ceiling. I'm ok with this however it's the approximate 180 pounds hitting the floor that tends to draw my attention. One of his workers was here yesterday and noted how much energy he had. I think we kept her a little longer then she wanted as my son seemed to have a lot to say.
We have an appointment today with his psychiatrist to discuss decreasing his Clozapine by another 100 mg and adding an ADHD medication. I am all for my son trying an ADHD med however I am concerned about what is motivating him to want to try one. He has been pretty adamant up until now that he does not have ADHD. Then one day he asks me about Adderall and he really wants to have it before we leave for your planned road trip for my daughter's graduation in less then two weeks. A trip that he seems to think is going to consist of a certain amount of partying with his sister and father. Not particularly a realistic expectation but sometimes when he gets these ideas in his head there is no changing it. He will have to see for himself that neither his father or sister are going to go along with his plans of partying for two weeks. His father works and probably won't be taking time off work because he can't and his sister will be busy with her graduation. I am well aware of Adderall being compared to speed or crystal meth (street drug). I am well aware of how addicting it can be especially for someone with an addictive personality. I prefer the idea of Strattera since it is not considered to be a stimulant like Adderall and I have heard good things about it. The last time I told my son I wanted him on Strattera, he changed his mind about going on an ADHD medication.
His psychiatrist is apparently one of the leading doctors in our area on treating Adult ADHD so I'm thinking this will be an interesting appointment today. My son did a questionnaire a little while ago and according to this he has a lot of components of ADHD. He has questions that his worker yesterday was unable to answer so hopefully he will get the answers he is looking for today. I'm hoping that even if his motivations are not what they appear that he will still come away from this with a positive outcome. I have made it clear that as long as he is living with me that any prescribed stimulants will be monitored either by myself or a member of the PACT Team. I wish that it could be different however I do not trust addiction. As of now he is agreeable to this arrangement.
My son has spoken to me a couple of times now about the 'hole' that he is trying to fill with respect to his emotions and enjoyment of life. I worry that after experiencing psychosis and marijuana related highs that the normal range of emotions can be somewhat of a let down. I can relate since I do know how good being high can feel. In comparison normal is pretty mundane. I don't know if his Clozapine is causing a numbing down of his emotions, if it's a symptom of his diagnoses or if it's just the reality of being normal. I know that he has noticed the difference in his last decrease of 100 mg of Clozapine with respect to these feelings. I too have noticed that even though he is still continuing to make progress with his stability that he does seem to spend a little bit more time questioning what I will call the spiritual. I try not to overreact as he has a right to these questions and until it interferes with his progress then I do not consider it to be a symptom.
There are a couple of things that need our attention. One being my son needs to his laundry. We also need to go for his monthly blood work that monitors his CBC or white blood cell count. I need to vacuum and wash the floors today.
The sun is shining and the birds are chirping...
Mom
BarbieBF
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