My son received his phone call this morning from the housing lady. It's housing for those who need mental and physical support or help. According to my son he requires no help - just a place to live. Oh and help cooking...
Based on this phone conversation the lady called his case worker at PACT and let her know that they will not be putting him on any wait-lists due to what he had to say during the phone interview. I was asked if he knew what support meant? I replied: I guess not...
I tried to discuss this with my son. Tried... and failed.
I pointed out that he doesn't know how to cook, clean, pay bills, grocery shop or even take care of his personal hygiene. He doesn't brush his teeth unless I tell him too. He goes way to long in between showers. He has needed to do laundry for two weeks. BUT he doesn't need support?! I didn't even mention schizophrenia and/or medication management. How can they possibly help him if he won't acknowledge that he needs the support/help that they are there for? They can't. They can't be responsible for putting him into an environment that he can't handle or won't ask for the help and assistance to handle it.
Somehow he got it into his head that he would be getting housing. Which apparently isn't true. So the lady from housing lied to his case worker who is lying to me? My son: Yes, my case worker is lying.
Is my son being delusional? I think he is very much in denial, by choice. Plus he is used to no one calling him out on his lies and manipulations. I'm the only one that appears to do so.
I'm well aware what is motivating his want to even move out. Perhaps that had a part to play as well. I heard him tell the lady on the phone that he doesn't like the rules here of no drugs and alcohol and that he wants to be able to bring home a bottle of wine every now and then. To the trained ear that said a lot. He doesn't care about paying bills or grocery shopping. He cares about having the freedom to get drunk and/or high when he wants.
I'm pretty sure in his eyes he doesn't even have to worry because once he spends all of his money on alcohol and marijuana he will just pick of his cell phone (that I'm paying for) and start calling his Dad and Nana or even his sister (she's working now!) and start asking for money. That's the only time he calls anyone is when he wants something.
Yes I have an issue... I don't know what to do now. I believe my son needs a reality check. He needs to face reality. He needs to acknowledge his own limitations and what his real goals and motivations are.
I think tonight hubby and I are going to go out for dinner. Forget thinking about it. We are! There is lots of things here to eat and honestly he can fend for himself for change. He should be happy I'm not doing what I was thinking about doing and making him get his own internet. Wait he can't... He has no income! What is he currently doing with what little money he does have? Buying and scratching scratch tickets. Hoping to win big I'm guessing ;)
He did win a little and went to get more. I didn't respond when he asked: Mom. Can you scratch them for me? His tone was very... whinny, childlike and manipulative. What's up with that?
I do have to print some blank calendars. I have been meaning to do that since my son blames me for him not doing the three chores a week that he agreed to do. I'm not reminding him and I should put in on a calendar for him. Ok, done!
ADHD Tip: How to Organize Your Family and Household
His case worker is coming by tomorrow morning. Maybe she will have more luck talking some sense into him.
Mom
BarbieBF
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