On the 17th I was clean from drugs for 6 months. As I'm sure I've said before, being clean is actually the easiest thing in my life right now. Living in a drug free environment I'm sure plays a big part.
Would that one day I could say that my son had some clean time under his belt. The last time he was here he again mentioned living with us. I don't really know exactly what the plan is or who is doing what however it seems that his dad is helping him to save to get his own place as the group home he is living in is closing. While my son is looking forward to this change, I am not. I have no idea who is going to be responsible for his medications, him taking them, or who is going to have control over his money. The condition for him living with me is that I have power of attorney. Trust me the last thing I want is to have control over his money and medications however given that we know what is capable of happening when he is sick, we can't have that around my grandson.
My son smokes a lot of marijuana. The last time he was here he actually didn't smoke a lot on the first night. What a difference. It was like having my son here. I know there are a lot of benefits to marijuana however not if one has psychosis. I certainly wish the world or those who advocate for it understood the damage it does to someone predisposed to psychosis. It's not a one size fits all. My son doesn't smoke too much then get all cuddly and get the munchies. He loses contact with this world in a bad way.
I've thought about calling his dad and asking what the plan is.... Given past experience I'm not sure it would do much good. I would probably get accused of meddling and/or get a lot of: I don't knows....
A couple of weeks ago my hubby left to go back to where we moved from last year, for work. He didn't leave in a good way and I wasn't a part of the decision to go. In fact I've had to make it known that we didn't break up. Not that it didn't feel like it at the time.
I've been reading a book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. His website: Gary Thomas
I can honestly say that I love this book. The hard part is that the more it shows me how a marriage could be, the more it shows me how lacking my own marriage is. Don't get me wrong, my marriage is something I can't even imagine myself walking away from. I have a lot of work ahead of me. Not just as a wife but as a newly born Christian woman.
I think I have finally gotten rid of most of the fleas on my cats. At least I haven't found any on them in the last week. Knock on wood. Apparently vinegar kills and repels them so I've started mopping my floors with it. It's also not harmful to the cats like most store bought household cleaners so bonus.
Here where I'm living, it seems like spring has finally sprung! Can't say the same for where hubby is. Karma ;) I know... not really nice of me but what can I say... I've been trying to get into the habit of getting myself and my grandson outside for a bit during the day now to enjoy the nice weather.
I also need to start getting healthy again and lose a little weight. All my 'big' cloths are now my tight cloths. Not that I'm complaining as it's part of the recovery process. Having gone so long without getting the right nutrition or even enough to eat due to using, I have to give my body a break and rebuild some stamina. Still it's time....
I had other things on my mind to B about... However I will leave them in my head where they belong. Actually I will give them God, where they belong. Just another step in the process of learning to let go. Now I'm learning to: Let go and let God.
I'm also working on something that I thought I had a good handle on and that's unconditional love. When it comes to my children and most of the world, it's easy. When it comes to my hubby, not so much. It's harder when you have expectations of someone that you consider to by half of yourself and therefore half as capable.
Bye for now....
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2019. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Showing posts with label Psychosis NOS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Psychosis NOS. Show all posts
Saturday, March 23, 2019
Monday, August 3, 2015
Why yes, I'm ecstatic!
Sarcasm!
Forewarned this post may be a bit if a rant.
I saw my son yesterday. He's a mess. He has obviously been in the same cloths for a long time. He hasn't showered or even washed that I can tell. He hasn't been taking his medications. I'm pretty sure he has been smoking marijuana.
Hubby and I picked him up to take him and get cigarettes. First we had to go to the bank so that I could transfer him his $314 that I owed him from disability. The whole time we were with him he was clenching his fist with all of his strength. I knew when I saw this that he wasn't taking his medications. At one point hubby said he asked my son why he was doing this and my son replied that he was trying to make his body work right. His brain isn't working right so his body isn't going to. He ended up giving me his bank card so that I could buy the smokes for him because he couldn't 'catch his breath' to get out of the car and do it himself.
I told my son that once we got back to the shelter I was going to go in with him so he could get his medications and put on some clean cloths. He said ok. As soon as we walked in to the shelter... Hello ODD. His defiance came out of nowhere. He didn't want his medications. One of the staff said they have been talking to him about showering etc however he 'bolts' or leaves the shelter.
Hubby and I have been talking about what to do. So far we haven't come up with any solid answers. I try not to get pissy with him when he asks me what I'm going to do. But seriously, if I had the answers I would be doing it. I don't have them... I don't know what to do.
I know how much I wanted to grab my son's stuff and bring him home.
Here's the catch. I'm a recovered addict. If I want to stay a recovered addict then one thing that I need to be able to do is think things through to the end. One of the problems with being an addict is that the mind only wants to see the good parts of using. Not the negative consequences and as long as one can keep blocking out those memories then one can keep pretending that using is ok.
I forget the exact wording of what was said during an ADAPT meeting but something along the lines of: An addict will not change until the pain of using is worse then the pain of not using.
I can bring him home. He has over $300 in his bank account. He is unstable and defiant. He believes he should be able to smoke and drink in his room. It doesn't take a genius to figure out where that scenario is most likely going.
I had already said to my husband that I need to bring him home if I can put some things in place. Before I left I tried to talk to my son. I wasn't expecting it to be an in-depth conversation considering his mental state. I got worse then I was expecting. I went to crouch/sit beside him and he got mad and told me to stand up and talk to him. I don't know why he gets like this with me. I mean the not wanting me to talk to him on his level. It just goes against everything that I have read on how to talk to someone experiencing psychosis. Especially since he gets so defiant with me being the main disciplinary. Yet he still gets mad, doesn't want me on his level and wants me to take the authoritative stance. The only thing I can reason is that somewhere in his head is a recognition that he actually needs someone to take on the role of authority for him. But then his ODD gets in the way...
I asked him if he remembered talking to his Nana about not going out there. Yes. I told him that I want to take him home however I can't if he has control over his money to buy alcohol because alcohol is killing him. I want power of attorney. He refused.
A couple of days ago I received a message from his grandmother stating that she had told him no to him coming there and she hoped that made everyone happy. Needless to say I didn't respond. The sarcastic side of me wanted to answer with: Why yes, I'm ecstatic. Thank you! I figured not answering was the better option.
My daughter calls to find out if I got the message and to include the side-note that obviously Nana didn't really mean it and that she would step in and take him if she felt it was necessary.
As far as I know that plans are/were to have my son go directly into a shelter out there. So switching one shelter for another? Then I guess work on getting him into his own place since this is what he wants. Well it's what he says he wants. He knows full well that once he gets there he can say no to any form of assisted living and that if he does that then he will end up with Nana. The ideal situation for him. He doesn't have to care about anyone except himself. He doesn't have to try to be sober and stable. To be blunt, he doesn't have to try period. He will get his pat on the head while someone else cleans up after him and protects him from himself.
The rant. Can you see my son living on his own?! He can't even keep himself stable when he is living somewhere that is feeding him and providing him with basic amenities. Yet that is what him and his grandmother seem to be concocting between the two of them. Unless he is telling her that he will go into a group home out there. If that is the case and it is being believed I can only shake my head some more.
My son, in my opinion, needs several basic things. Mainly he needs long-term treatment for addiction. By long-term I'm thinking 3-6 months to start. He needs help from non-family, so he can't use and manipulate them, to help him become stable, stay stable and learn to mature and grow up. Until he gets these things. Everything else is just prolonging everyone's suffering, including and especially his own.
My son isn't stupid by no means. When I had the police take him, one of them went with him to his room to collect his things. My son was very drunk. Not as drunk as I thought. He made sure to disconnect, unplug and turn off the laptop so that I couldn't have access to it. Before leaving he wanted my phone to call his Nana. I know some may think: Well yes she is the one he knows will support him. Hmm. The one that will support him or enable him. There is a big difference.
Honestly he has support coming out his.... ;) Agencies and people just waiting for him to give the go ahead and they will be right there. PACT has peer support, group support and vocational (job) support. ADAPT has addiction support. Applications have been started for housing. He has an open file at the YMCA for free schooling at his own pace. My son is 21 and says no thank you...
He also has me and my husband. Apparently I expect too much. Expecting Michael to follow basic rules that a 5 year old can follow, clean up after himself, treat me with respect, not be violent, try to be medication compliant and engage is addiction services is apparently too much for him. How do you respond to that? Seriously if he is that bad off then he really should be in the hospital with 24/7 care not traipsing on a plane across the country!
Where we are at now is not new. He has been here before. He has played the system, played and manipulated emotions until he got what he wanted. Freedom from responsibility, stability or sobriety.
Do you think he doesn't know that if he doesn't participate in recovery plans here that in time he will get what he wants? Of course he does. Like I said he isn't stupid.
Something I had too look at and acknowledge was/is that his masturbation episodes are tied into his alcohol use and not his schizophrenia so yes it is more behavioral. I didn't know until I found out about him calling dial-a-bottle that he was during the time of his masturbating frequently and in public, drinking almost a bottle of alcohol a day. I also found out that one of the ladies at the shelter caught him doing this in public and had to talk to him about it. I didn't tell her that I knew that he had purchased a bottle of alcohol since being there. Just like I didn't tell them that I'm pretty sure he probably has marijuana on him. Maybe that is why he bolts when expected to shower and change cloths? He keeps his jacket on and close to him when he is hiding stuff.
There is also the distinct possibility that if he gets himself kicked out of there then in steps his safety net. I may not be actively stopping this from happening however I'm certainly not going to help it happen.
Of all the blogs that I read. Jagged Little Edges is without a doubt one of my favorites. Lorelie doesn't hold any punches on what addiction is and the truth of it's ugliness is spelled out in black and white. Lorelie's last blog post: Loving An Addict Means Saying No.
A lot of Lorelie's posts are also highlighted on: Addiction Campuses
I know there are a lot of families who struggle with concurrent disorders of addiction and mental illness. I only speak for what I see with my son. He doesn't use to self-medicate symptoms. He uses/drinks to feed/satisfy his addictions. It's doing this that triggers his schizophrenia and causes the rebound affect. Also my son doesn't want to medication his symptoms. He very much enjoys his psychosis when he is in it. Probably another reason why he didn't want to take his medications yesterday. Why mess with his high? I have been around addiction enough to recognize that mind-set. I have been there. Don't eat too much before doing this drug or you will lessen the high...
I did tell the lady at the shelter that my son was psychotic and needed his medications so hopefully they were a little more attentive last night about 'reminding him' to take them. It's not a part of their duties and they get busy. Not sure I buy that. The other shelter had less staff and they did more. They followed up on medications. They searched more for drugs etc. being brought in. I know because I watched them do it. Too bad it was in such a horrible neighborhood. I have yet to see this shelter search anyone including my son. The lady asked what the signs were of my son's psychosis. To me it's obvious but I'm mom and have looked at his face for signs for years now. I asked if she knew what high looks like? What extreme exhaustion looks like? Combine them and you have my son's current face. Again I left out that he was most likely high... Really in the end it was the psychosis I'm trying to nip in the butt before something negative happens and high or not high he would still look pretty much the same from psychosis.
My appointment with ADAPT last week got rescheduled to the 18th of August. Today is a civic holiday here in Ontario, Canada so I'm not working! Hubby is :(. My work schedule has changed. Now I'm 12-6:30 Mon-Fri and I think 10:30-2 on Sunday. So 6 days a week and more hours. I may see if I can switch from Sunday to Saturday as Sunday is the one day I can pretty much count on hubby not working. The hours are being split between me and another lady. I got paid! I needed it to help cover rent due to what I had to give to Michael. I got my hair cut yesterday. Pretty short. I guess it's a bob? shorter at the back and long around the face. It feels good. I haven't had a cigarette in 6 weeks! I'm not sure how long it's been for hubby. I think 3 weeks. My homemade protein bars were a hit. We both like them. Have to make more today. I may even get back on my stepper today and do some exercise.
The above things make me happy. Certainly not the situation that my son is in or the fact that I have to fight so hard to try and get him the treatment that he needs.
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Forewarned this post may be a bit if a rant.
I saw my son yesterday. He's a mess. He has obviously been in the same cloths for a long time. He hasn't showered or even washed that I can tell. He hasn't been taking his medications. I'm pretty sure he has been smoking marijuana.
Hubby and I picked him up to take him and get cigarettes. First we had to go to the bank so that I could transfer him his $314 that I owed him from disability. The whole time we were with him he was clenching his fist with all of his strength. I knew when I saw this that he wasn't taking his medications. At one point hubby said he asked my son why he was doing this and my son replied that he was trying to make his body work right. His brain isn't working right so his body isn't going to. He ended up giving me his bank card so that I could buy the smokes for him because he couldn't 'catch his breath' to get out of the car and do it himself.
I told my son that once we got back to the shelter I was going to go in with him so he could get his medications and put on some clean cloths. He said ok. As soon as we walked in to the shelter... Hello ODD. His defiance came out of nowhere. He didn't want his medications. One of the staff said they have been talking to him about showering etc however he 'bolts' or leaves the shelter.
Hubby and I have been talking about what to do. So far we haven't come up with any solid answers. I try not to get pissy with him when he asks me what I'm going to do. But seriously, if I had the answers I would be doing it. I don't have them... I don't know what to do.
I know how much I wanted to grab my son's stuff and bring him home.
Here's the catch. I'm a recovered addict. If I want to stay a recovered addict then one thing that I need to be able to do is think things through to the end. One of the problems with being an addict is that the mind only wants to see the good parts of using. Not the negative consequences and as long as one can keep blocking out those memories then one can keep pretending that using is ok.
I forget the exact wording of what was said during an ADAPT meeting but something along the lines of: An addict will not change until the pain of using is worse then the pain of not using.
I can bring him home. He has over $300 in his bank account. He is unstable and defiant. He believes he should be able to smoke and drink in his room. It doesn't take a genius to figure out where that scenario is most likely going.
I had already said to my husband that I need to bring him home if I can put some things in place. Before I left I tried to talk to my son. I wasn't expecting it to be an in-depth conversation considering his mental state. I got worse then I was expecting. I went to crouch/sit beside him and he got mad and told me to stand up and talk to him. I don't know why he gets like this with me. I mean the not wanting me to talk to him on his level. It just goes against everything that I have read on how to talk to someone experiencing psychosis. Especially since he gets so defiant with me being the main disciplinary. Yet he still gets mad, doesn't want me on his level and wants me to take the authoritative stance. The only thing I can reason is that somewhere in his head is a recognition that he actually needs someone to take on the role of authority for him. But then his ODD gets in the way...
I asked him if he remembered talking to his Nana about not going out there. Yes. I told him that I want to take him home however I can't if he has control over his money to buy alcohol because alcohol is killing him. I want power of attorney. He refused.
A couple of days ago I received a message from his grandmother stating that she had told him no to him coming there and she hoped that made everyone happy. Needless to say I didn't respond. The sarcastic side of me wanted to answer with: Why yes, I'm ecstatic. Thank you! I figured not answering was the better option.
My daughter calls to find out if I got the message and to include the side-note that obviously Nana didn't really mean it and that she would step in and take him if she felt it was necessary.
As far as I know that plans are/were to have my son go directly into a shelter out there. So switching one shelter for another? Then I guess work on getting him into his own place since this is what he wants. Well it's what he says he wants. He knows full well that once he gets there he can say no to any form of assisted living and that if he does that then he will end up with Nana. The ideal situation for him. He doesn't have to care about anyone except himself. He doesn't have to try to be sober and stable. To be blunt, he doesn't have to try period. He will get his pat on the head while someone else cleans up after him and protects him from himself.
The rant. Can you see my son living on his own?! He can't even keep himself stable when he is living somewhere that is feeding him and providing him with basic amenities. Yet that is what him and his grandmother seem to be concocting between the two of them. Unless he is telling her that he will go into a group home out there. If that is the case and it is being believed I can only shake my head some more.
My son, in my opinion, needs several basic things. Mainly he needs long-term treatment for addiction. By long-term I'm thinking 3-6 months to start. He needs help from non-family, so he can't use and manipulate them, to help him become stable, stay stable and learn to mature and grow up. Until he gets these things. Everything else is just prolonging everyone's suffering, including and especially his own.
My son isn't stupid by no means. When I had the police take him, one of them went with him to his room to collect his things. My son was very drunk. Not as drunk as I thought. He made sure to disconnect, unplug and turn off the laptop so that I couldn't have access to it. Before leaving he wanted my phone to call his Nana. I know some may think: Well yes she is the one he knows will support him. Hmm. The one that will support him or enable him. There is a big difference.
Honestly he has support coming out his.... ;) Agencies and people just waiting for him to give the go ahead and they will be right there. PACT has peer support, group support and vocational (job) support. ADAPT has addiction support. Applications have been started for housing. He has an open file at the YMCA for free schooling at his own pace. My son is 21 and says no thank you...
He also has me and my husband. Apparently I expect too much. Expecting Michael to follow basic rules that a 5 year old can follow, clean up after himself, treat me with respect, not be violent, try to be medication compliant and engage is addiction services is apparently too much for him. How do you respond to that? Seriously if he is that bad off then he really should be in the hospital with 24/7 care not traipsing on a plane across the country!
Where we are at now is not new. He has been here before. He has played the system, played and manipulated emotions until he got what he wanted. Freedom from responsibility, stability or sobriety.
Do you think he doesn't know that if he doesn't participate in recovery plans here that in time he will get what he wants? Of course he does. Like I said he isn't stupid.
Something I had too look at and acknowledge was/is that his masturbation episodes are tied into his alcohol use and not his schizophrenia so yes it is more behavioral. I didn't know until I found out about him calling dial-a-bottle that he was during the time of his masturbating frequently and in public, drinking almost a bottle of alcohol a day. I also found out that one of the ladies at the shelter caught him doing this in public and had to talk to him about it. I didn't tell her that I knew that he had purchased a bottle of alcohol since being there. Just like I didn't tell them that I'm pretty sure he probably has marijuana on him. Maybe that is why he bolts when expected to shower and change cloths? He keeps his jacket on and close to him when he is hiding stuff.
There is also the distinct possibility that if he gets himself kicked out of there then in steps his safety net. I may not be actively stopping this from happening however I'm certainly not going to help it happen.
Of all the blogs that I read. Jagged Little Edges is without a doubt one of my favorites. Lorelie doesn't hold any punches on what addiction is and the truth of it's ugliness is spelled out in black and white. Lorelie's last blog post: Loving An Addict Means Saying No.
A lot of Lorelie's posts are also highlighted on: Addiction Campuses
I know there are a lot of families who struggle with concurrent disorders of addiction and mental illness. I only speak for what I see with my son. He doesn't use to self-medicate symptoms. He uses/drinks to feed/satisfy his addictions. It's doing this that triggers his schizophrenia and causes the rebound affect. Also my son doesn't want to medication his symptoms. He very much enjoys his psychosis when he is in it. Probably another reason why he didn't want to take his medications yesterday. Why mess with his high? I have been around addiction enough to recognize that mind-set. I have been there. Don't eat too much before doing this drug or you will lessen the high...
I did tell the lady at the shelter that my son was psychotic and needed his medications so hopefully they were a little more attentive last night about 'reminding him' to take them. It's not a part of their duties and they get busy. Not sure I buy that. The other shelter had less staff and they did more. They followed up on medications. They searched more for drugs etc. being brought in. I know because I watched them do it. Too bad it was in such a horrible neighborhood. I have yet to see this shelter search anyone including my son. The lady asked what the signs were of my son's psychosis. To me it's obvious but I'm mom and have looked at his face for signs for years now. I asked if she knew what high looks like? What extreme exhaustion looks like? Combine them and you have my son's current face. Again I left out that he was most likely high... Really in the end it was the psychosis I'm trying to nip in the butt before something negative happens and high or not high he would still look pretty much the same from psychosis.
My appointment with ADAPT last week got rescheduled to the 18th of August. Today is a civic holiday here in Ontario, Canada so I'm not working! Hubby is :(. My work schedule has changed. Now I'm 12-6:30 Mon-Fri and I think 10:30-2 on Sunday. So 6 days a week and more hours. I may see if I can switch from Sunday to Saturday as Sunday is the one day I can pretty much count on hubby not working. The hours are being split between me and another lady. I got paid! I needed it to help cover rent due to what I had to give to Michael. I got my hair cut yesterday. Pretty short. I guess it's a bob? shorter at the back and long around the face. It feels good. I haven't had a cigarette in 6 weeks! I'm not sure how long it's been for hubby. I think 3 weeks. My homemade protein bars were a hit. We both like them. Have to make more today. I may even get back on my stepper today and do some exercise.
The above things make me happy. Certainly not the situation that my son is in or the fact that I have to fight so hard to try and get him the treatment that he needs.
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Anger
I thought I would center today's post on ODD since I make reference to my son's ODD fairly frequently and I myself am trying to get a better understanding of what is happening and motivating my son's behavior.
Two articles that have caught my attention today are:
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and AD/HD
http://www.additudemag.com
Physiology of Anger
http://www.mentalhelp.net
My son's nurse was here this morning. I had tried to get him up before she arrived but I had no success as yet again he was up all night and didn't go to sleep until after 4. Another morning of waking up to him sleeping on the sofa. By the way it is one of the apartment rules that he sleep in his own bed. She dropped off a list of the weekly event schedule for June, July & August. Hopefully the next one will make it to him earlier :) I brought up to her that even though I know my son isn't officially diagnosed with ODD that it seems to be controlling his behavior so much right now. During this conversation she commented that his pdoc had mentioned that he might not have schizophrenia but psychosis NOS. I don't know what to think. I'm guessing only time will tell for sure. In the meantime it's symptoms of ODD that I think need the most attention right now. My son did get up while she was still here not that he particularly played a big part in the conversation. We were discussing what services Ready4Life could help him with and I rubbed his leg to get him to pay attention since this is his life and services that he will need to be aware of and to ask for help with. Defiance poked it's little head up and he kind of snapped: yes I know and went back to ignoring us. As I said on another post his only concern seems to be getting away from me without any regard to what is going to happen once he is on his own or any thoughts as to how is going to manage and take care of himself. I'm guessing that part of this defiance or anger is because I have made it clear that we will not be spending money on him like we have in the past. We did take him to get cigarettes for the rest of the month before he spent what little money he did have. He ended up buying an E-Cigarette Vaporizer and extra flavored cartridges that don't give nicotine and one carton of cherry flavored cigarettes. He still had one carton of his normal cigarettes. My son smokes at least a carton a week. The math doesn't really work does it? Last night he decided to spend the last of his money on a pocket knife. A knife I heard hitting his bedroom door last night. I reminded him again that he has a whole month to go yet and he will have no money for cigarettes or energy drinks etc. His response is that he will go without. We have had our issues in the past trying to limit his cigarettes when my hubby and I were the ones paying for them. It was a daily argument at 30 a day. Maybe I should be looking forward to him moving out so that I don't have to deal with this!
When his nurse asked him about PACT talking to Ready4Life and I stated that he had signed a waiver allowing Ready4Life to talk to PACT, his defiance reared it's head again. He didn't recall signing it. The lady from Ready4Life had made it quit clear what it was and had made sure that he understood what it was that he was signing although I guess at the time his only concern was not having my name on it. If you read the above link my son fits all of the criteria not just four. I have seen him purposely not do things just because I have asked him to do it. I have seen him purposely do things around me that he knows that I don't like that he does not do around other people. All these things and more are happening consistently even when he is not psychotic and they are having a significant impairment on his functioning. I have some pretty basic apartment rules that he is refusing to follow like cleaning up after himself and sleeping in his own bed. Rules that a 5 year old can follow. Rules that he has agreed are reasonable and that he knows he has to do however blames everyone else for him not doing them. I guess I need to get back to some basics on how to handle/discipline ADHD and ODD as I have been lax on the boundaries and not enforcing the consequences. This should be fun!
The above article on anger helps to give a better understanding of anger. However I still don't get why someone with psychosis seems unable to feel or react appropriately to emotions like love yet seem to have an unending supply of emotions like anger and resentment. Perhaps it's because different neurotransmitters are involved? I wonder if that is something that science should be looking into! Between feelings of anger and resentment and what appears to be ODD to me, my son seems to be acting and reacting on a basic instinct of, well to put it bluntly, screw you. With no regard to his own mental or physical well-being. Being defiant is more important.
Oops... I forgot that I had started making some bread.
Mom
BarbieBF
Two articles that have caught my attention today are:
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and AD/HD
http://www.additudemag.com
Physiology of Anger
http://www.mentalhelp.net
My son's nurse was here this morning. I had tried to get him up before she arrived but I had no success as yet again he was up all night and didn't go to sleep until after 4. Another morning of waking up to him sleeping on the sofa. By the way it is one of the apartment rules that he sleep in his own bed. She dropped off a list of the weekly event schedule for June, July & August. Hopefully the next one will make it to him earlier :) I brought up to her that even though I know my son isn't officially diagnosed with ODD that it seems to be controlling his behavior so much right now. During this conversation she commented that his pdoc had mentioned that he might not have schizophrenia but psychosis NOS. I don't know what to think. I'm guessing only time will tell for sure. In the meantime it's symptoms of ODD that I think need the most attention right now. My son did get up while she was still here not that he particularly played a big part in the conversation. We were discussing what services Ready4Life could help him with and I rubbed his leg to get him to pay attention since this is his life and services that he will need to be aware of and to ask for help with. Defiance poked it's little head up and he kind of snapped: yes I know and went back to ignoring us. As I said on another post his only concern seems to be getting away from me without any regard to what is going to happen once he is on his own or any thoughts as to how is going to manage and take care of himself. I'm guessing that part of this defiance or anger is because I have made it clear that we will not be spending money on him like we have in the past. We did take him to get cigarettes for the rest of the month before he spent what little money he did have. He ended up buying an E-Cigarette Vaporizer and extra flavored cartridges that don't give nicotine and one carton of cherry flavored cigarettes. He still had one carton of his normal cigarettes. My son smokes at least a carton a week. The math doesn't really work does it? Last night he decided to spend the last of his money on a pocket knife. A knife I heard hitting his bedroom door last night. I reminded him again that he has a whole month to go yet and he will have no money for cigarettes or energy drinks etc. His response is that he will go without. We have had our issues in the past trying to limit his cigarettes when my hubby and I were the ones paying for them. It was a daily argument at 30 a day. Maybe I should be looking forward to him moving out so that I don't have to deal with this!
When his nurse asked him about PACT talking to Ready4Life and I stated that he had signed a waiver allowing Ready4Life to talk to PACT, his defiance reared it's head again. He didn't recall signing it. The lady from Ready4Life had made it quit clear what it was and had made sure that he understood what it was that he was signing although I guess at the time his only concern was not having my name on it. If you read the above link my son fits all of the criteria not just four. I have seen him purposely not do things just because I have asked him to do it. I have seen him purposely do things around me that he knows that I don't like that he does not do around other people. All these things and more are happening consistently even when he is not psychotic and they are having a significant impairment on his functioning. I have some pretty basic apartment rules that he is refusing to follow like cleaning up after himself and sleeping in his own bed. Rules that a 5 year old can follow. Rules that he has agreed are reasonable and that he knows he has to do however blames everyone else for him not doing them. I guess I need to get back to some basics on how to handle/discipline ADHD and ODD as I have been lax on the boundaries and not enforcing the consequences. This should be fun!
The above article on anger helps to give a better understanding of anger. However I still don't get why someone with psychosis seems unable to feel or react appropriately to emotions like love yet seem to have an unending supply of emotions like anger and resentment. Perhaps it's because different neurotransmitters are involved? I wonder if that is something that science should be looking into! Between feelings of anger and resentment and what appears to be ODD to me, my son seems to be acting and reacting on a basic instinct of, well to put it bluntly, screw you. With no regard to his own mental or physical well-being. Being defiant is more important.
Oops... I forgot that I had started making some bread.
Mom
BarbieBF
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