Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Forty Four Hours

That is how long my son was awake...

Surprisingly he was more aware than I thought. I thought time was not passing for him and that he was pretty lost in his own world but apparently not. I called his case worker this morning, chocking back tears, and let her know that he had at this point been awake for 37 hours, was not eating much and seemed to be having trouble focusing on things that I was saying or asking him. She agreed to come and evaluate the situation. He knew what day of the week it was, knew approximately how long he had been awake and even knew how many days it had been since we took him to emergency and got the Seroquel prescription. Too aware for involuntary admittance but I already knew this. His reasons for the fasting and not sleeping was somewhat delusional. Not sure when he decided to follow the Muslim faith but he felt that he was energizing his mind and body by doing this as the Muslims do. His case worker had a hard time understanding this as not eating and sleeping does not energize you but mania does. In my opinion it was schizophrenia symptoms that was doing the energizing. He did eat some supper last night which was mostly all he had eaten in about 35 hours. He ate some rice, a bite of chicken and a bite of his brussel sprouts. According to him he ate a big plate of dinner. My son really does have an amazing ability to change his reality to suit or explain things. Like saying it simply makes it so. So even though we were pretty sure that the hospital wouldn't admit him, his worker managed to talk him into going down for a check up due to his fasting and not sleeping.

I'm afraid my own feelings overwhelmed me at one point as I can see where things are heading and I really don't want him progressing to the point that he always has in the past for involuntary admittance. I don't want to wait until he is delusional, hallucinating and hearing negative voices before he gets the help that he needs. I'm trying to be pro-active! Honestly I can't believe how long it is taking him to decompress or go into psychosis. Without alcohol and marijuana to speed it along it is as slow as molasses... and frustrating. I think my tears where somewhat shocking to my son and he ended up telling his worker that he thinks I'm having a mental break. I did grin at that one! So he was quit happy to leave with her as he couldn't handle being around me and my break down. It's a good thing I waited until they left to actually cry! And give myself an headache!

As we already knew would happen, he got released and was sent home. He went straight to bed and is as far as I know sleeping. He already decided when his worker was here that he was done fasting and not sleeping. I think he was just telling her what he thought she needed to hear to not have him admitted. Either way he is in bed where he needs to be.

Now that I'm more aware of who is reading my blog, there is a part of me that doesn't want to write this part. But I will do what I normally do and continue... While my son was sent home from the hospital it is temporary. There was no beds available at any of the shelters. I'm pretty sure that once the lady from Ready4Life gets back from vacation than things will hopefully get moving on his applications for the group homes. In the mean time I don't think that staying here is the best thing for him and neither does his case worker or PACT. I can't even say how much her support means to me right now. It's pretty obvious that he will continue as he is which in my opinion is only doing his brain more harm then good. I can't motivate him to help himself out of this. He needs help and they can provide it to him. I have said before that the shelter we are looking into is not an unsupervised flop house. It has structure and support staff. They will expect him to be part of a routine and be minimally functional. He needs someone other then me to expect something from him. People that will expect and help him to act like the adult that he is. After that it will be a group home.

I'm guessing my son will sleep for awhile so maybe hubby and I will go out for dinner since it's almost 5 PM and I haven't even thought about what to make today.


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