Monday, August 4, 2014
I said I'm sorry.
It was a good and quiet weekend. *knock on wood* Other then Friday night my downstairs neighbor has been quiet. My son went to his friends for the night Friday. There was some alcohol and marijuana use although I'm guessing not too much and he was ready to come home the next day. Saturday hubby and I went to a laundromat to do our laundry as I'm trying to stay away from my downstairs neighbors unit which is right across for the laundry room. I'm trying not to aggravate the whole situation any more then necessary. They have receive their second eviction notice due to my complaints about excess noise. We did grocery shopping then picked up my son. Yesterday (Sunday) hubby dropped me off at my best friends while he went to see his grand-kids. I haven't seen my best friend in two years and it was a good visit. Last night we watched the 1976 movie Sybil. Sybil had Multiple Personality Disorder or what is now known as DID or Dissociative Identity Disorder. My son watched some of it with us although he didn't particularly seem interested in it. He was probably more bored then anything.
I guess it was Friday afternoon when he eventually got up that he asked me if he had fallen asleep on the sofa that morning. I took the opportunity to let him know that I know that he is an adult however as long as he is living under my roof there are and will continue to be consequences to certain behaviors. The next time he sleeps on the sofa then he will lose the internet. Sunday morning I woke up to him asleep on the sofa again. He lost the internet. Last night he asks me if we can talk about it that he is willing to make a pact with me that he won't do it again, can I help him not do it? That he shouldn't be in the living room after a certain time. I asked him how he expected me to do this? Unless I stay up all night I can't stop him from coming into the living room at 2 and 4 o'clock in the morning. He suggested putting a note on the coffee table for him. There has been a list of apartment rules and consequences in the living room for a long time now that he refuses to look at or read since he already knows what they are. He said that since he has said that he is sorry that I should not make him deal with the consequences that that is unfair and unreasonable of me. If I'm going to be like that about it then he is not sorry. He seems to be missing the point of what it means to be sorry. They aren't words to be used to manipulate people, at least they shouldn't be. I remember when he first came to live with me and one time telling me that to say I'm sorry means that you can do it again because you said I'm sorry. He said that taking away the internet won't stop him from sleeping on the sofa. I tried to give him another way to look at it. If I miss work then I don't get paid for that day. I can apologize to my boss, give reasons and say that I'm sorry however I still won't get paid. Being sorry doesn't get me out of the consequences. Guess what? He didn't sleep on the sofa last night!
Just a little while ago he randomly asked me what I was doing and if I was writing my book. No just blogging, I haven't written anything new for my book since January. You're on blogger now? Yes I switched from Tumblr awhile ago as there doesn't seem to be a lot of adults on there. Then he went and brushed his teeth! Then I see him taking dirty dishes out of his room! My hubby had suggested to him last night that perhaps if he cleaned up his room a little bit he would be more comfortable in there. I have stopped going in and cleaning his room and it's a mess! For some reason he dumped all of his dirty laundry in the middle of the room. When I asked him why he said he wanted the floor to feel like it had carpet. Really? Your kidding right?! No not really... This was the day he came back from his friends so sometimes his behavior just isn't going to make sense after smoking weed and drinking. The garbage can is overflowing and there is garbage all over the place. If this is his current level of self-care than it is what it is.
BTW July 30 was my hubby and I's 4th year anniversary of the day we meet. At first I thought it was 3 years. My son said it must be 5. I had to think about it for a bit. For years I always thought we had been together a year longer then we had been. I guess in trying to correct that I over-corrected. While I still remember with clarity the first time I say him, what he said and what I was wearing... A flowered dress. He used to call me his flower girl and sing (I Love) The Flower Girl! It seems a life time ago. We have certainly come a long ways. All my nagging and pushing has paid off! ;)