We have had our run in with Salvia and Wild Dagga in the past when my son first came to live with me April 2013. It seems we were destined to have another run in with it yesterday.
DrugFacts: Salvia
I wrote about it in my first chapter here: http://schizophreniamomsjourney.blogspot.ca/p/1-my-big-boy-is-home.html
It produces hallucinogenic experiences that mimic psychosis. I had forgotten this and my son had already talked about wanting to get some on the plane ride home. I just told him not in the home so of course off he went to the corner store and came home with it and a pipe. I looked it up again and informed that it was a no go and why. He didn't argue and said ok to throwing it out and didn't put up a fight about me throwing out the pipe as well stating whatever didn't cause an argument between us. I would have to say I'm really liking the Invega :)
I'm not sure how much of what happened between us before he was taken to the shelter is playing a role here however he is still wanting to be out on his own. I think he still wants to do what he wants when he wants however without the attitude and since he can't do that here I think it is motivating him to want his own place. The reality is that him wanting his own place right now is not a good thing. He is not capable of taking care of himself. We are in agreement that a group home will help to teach him the necessary skills to take care of himself. He will always have people to talk to and will never be alone. He will be a part of that community and the things that they do. I assured him that this happening does not stop me from being mom that he will never lose this. I will always be a part of his life no matter where he is.
I did take a peak at some notes on the laptop yesterday... There is one dated July 30 stating not to worry that he would soon be moving to a place where he could live in peace. Kind of telling that perhaps the whole scenario was partially orchestrated by him to get what he wanted. Him telling me that he wanted me to kick him out because he didn't want to be here seems to support this. He had a goal in mind and he made sure it happened. I guess I will have to have my own guards up to make sure I don't get pulled into this type of thinking again since my son is very good at knowing what buttons to push.
My son seems to be doing much better. Yesterday there was no obvious signs of voices. No laughing for no reason. He went to the corner store by himself and he also biked to Walmart by himself to get a new PS4 game. He also came back with a speaker. Oh joy! Definitely have to get him out to buy enough cigarettes to last him awhile before his money is all gone as I gave him his bank card yesterday, letting him know that that money may have to last him 3 months since I still don't know the status of his disability file here.
When he got up yesterday the first thing he did was to walk out and pat me on the head. He does this sometimes and I think it's his way of showing me affection. He set his PS4 up in the living room and I let him know that is fine however in the evenings when my husband is home then he can't have control over the living room TV. He had trouble getting the PS4 screen to fit the TV screen so I looked it up and fixed it. He commented how I seem to be able to fix these things when he can't just like I have in the past for him. Hubby commented along the lines that I'm more then a pretty face. Yup I'm all that! ;) It felt good to have this banter happening with my son.
I made fish, rice and vegetables for dinner since I know my son likes rice and the fish is good for his brain, especially right now. He ate all of his rice and vegetables and over half of his fish. I was impressed! He even took 2 Omega 3-6-9 supplements and a multivitamin. We had discussed the Omega 3 on the plane as being part his 'very healthy life' note. While there doesn't seem to be conclusive evidence that Omega 3 helps or prevents schizophrenia there are still a lot of studies and testimonials showing that it can help with symptoms.
Omega 3 fish oils tested as preventative approach to schizophrenia with positive results
I'm really hoping that I can get him started on some healthy routines and habits now so that as he gains stability there will be less resistance to following through on them.
We discussed an appropriate bedtime. I wanted 11 however he asked for somewhere between 12:15 and 12:45 and I agreed. My son is pretty consistent in not following through or following rules... He was still up at 3 so I shooed him off to bed. Of course there was the usual me getting up to ask him to turn things down as it was keeping me awake. I'm guessing my insomnia is going to love this! As I was finally getting it under control...
His psychiatrist was here this morning. He will be doing a prescription for Trazodone that my son can take as needed. He suggested other ones like Seroquel which is a sedating antipsychotic however I said no as I know my son didn't like it the last time he was put him on it. I suggested the Trazodone as I know that he never had a problem with taking it other then not wanting to take 200 mg. He didn't mind taking 100 mg when he did take it. He agreed when the psychiatrist asked him about it. I asked the psychiatrist about his Gabapentin/Neurontin since I still have them and he said it's probably best to limit the number of medications he is taking for now. I have always appreciated the approach of his psychiatrists here to not have him on more medications than is necessary. I was worried that the amount of his Invega shot may not be high enough however he is doing better now so hopefully we can keep it at 75 mg. It appears that a Community Treatment Order is a no go for now. Even though he was inpatient for over 30 days in British Columbia, he has not been inpatient for over 30 days here in Ontario so he doesn't meet the criteria here. He has to have been inpatient for 30 days within the last 3 years here in Ontario or a previous CTO in Ontario, which hasn't happened.
Community Treatment Orders - Ontario
He wanted to call his friend to go see him however I let him know that I am saying no to that happening right now as he is unable to say no to drugs and alcohol on his own so for now I get to be the bad one and say no for him. He wanted to know why it's such a bad thing so I asked him how many breaks would he like to have? And explained that each break causes brain damage so how much damage does he want to do? If he wants to become retarded (sorry if that offends anyone) then keep going... He can't remember how to sign into online banking or how to use his visa bank card and I explained that's because his last break seems to have caused some damage. He seems fairly accepting of letting me think for him right now however I'm not sure how long that is going to last. He also seems agreeable to participating more with PACT and their group programs as I told him that that is another area that he can become a part of that community. This came up when he asked me for ideas on how to fill in his morning routines. He actually just talked to his case worker as he asked about having someone to talk to do about his personal problems so I suggested he talk to PACT. I'm hoping to further his bound with them so that he knows that they are always there to help him and support him. She is coming to see him tomorrow and they may be going for coffee!
PACT is trying to get his Trazodone prescription done and have it delivered to us by the pharmacy. Sometimes I get a little tired of having to explain how thing work to people :) I asked who was going to pay for it? The pharmacy should have his last ODSP (disability) card... Yes and they get a new card every month so the one sent out for September will not cover November. *sigh* They haven't been able to get a hold of ODSP either. We were given a number to call for medical coverage outside of ODSP and they should be calling us back tomorrow as his file was marked as urgent. *fingers crossed* they approve him. I wish I had known about this the last time as I might not have had to pay for his medications for 3 months. Oh well... Live and learn right? His case worker may even go to ODSP in person tomorrow if they can't get anywhere. I told her it's really nice to have someone do something for me for a change!
Hubby is on his way home from work and it's off to get cigarettes... Knowing my son he will also get some chewing tobacco. Yes ewww... Although he said it's better then satisfying his other addictions which I have to agree :)
Mom
BarbieBF
Thank you for writing, its nice to hear from the moms perspective. Im 27 now but at 21 started having breaks. My brother died when I was 17 in Iraq, the year I had my 6/6/6 birthday. His name was Christian, and was a Devil doG. It changed my life forever. So many things happened between then and 21. I lived out of my car and on the streets. No one could have helped me because I didnt want any help. It took a long string of bad chains of events to get me home. But My mom and dad stood through it and it worked with invega. Im about to start a new script called invega trinza which is a 3 month shot instead of once a month. My heart goes out to these familes, because I was the one who fought against everything. But im glad they pushed for me. Im about to start my 2nd year of college and have a vision of tomorrow. Tell them its not the end, and your only true friend and the ones who brought you back home. Life is a puzzle and the trip never ended, its just where the journey begins. Positive out look makes positive results. Keep at it, d.e.f.g.u.
ReplyDeleteSincerely
V.W.