To anyone that follows my blog regularly, my apologies for not writing...
I seem to still be struggling a bit with getting back into my grove and my social media with respect to mental illness. I upped my Venlafaxine on Saturday to what my family doctor wants me taking as I was noticing that my thoughts were going back to that negative loop where everything and anything that I'm not impressed with was auto-repeat in my head ;). It takes a couple of days for it to build up and by Wednesday the sedation kicked in and I ended up napping and going to bed early. So hopefully I can get back on track.
Hubby's family get together went well. Very well actually. I ended up reminding/telling my son that he had money as we were taking him to get cigarettes. I asked him to hold off on buying alcohol until after the family get together as I didn't want him being symptomatic while there. He agreed to wait. I know that he found it a bit tiresome but he said that he had a good time.
He didn't buy alcohol until later Monday afternoon. My bad... but I told him that the liquor store wasn't open on Sundays. I didn't think that it was. Hubby told me afterwards that it was open.
I'm guessing it was the alcohol that triggered it; he went a bit manic on Tuesday. Out of nowhere he was putting on jeans, grooming his beard and looking for his dress shoes. We had an interesting conversation about his teeth that day. Some delusional thinking in that he believed he was 'born' when he first started having memories around 3 or 4 and that he has grown new teeth 4 times. His ODD started to act up a little bit. When I didn't engage he said to me: Come on lets talk about this... Translation, come on lets argue ;). Sorry no. I told him that I thought he was being delusional, that I gave birth to him so I know when he was born, if he had teeth or not and that I wasn't going to continue this conversation. I walked away.
He went to his PACT group the following Wednesday which was golf. He participated and had fun. His new nurse from PACT has taken him out of the house for the past two Mondays. I think he is also pushing at PACT that Michael be more involved with the outings so it doesn't look like I have to question if he is on the list for Wednesday's groups anymore. Now his rides are just showing up. I think Monday's outing to the YMCA is being looked at as well. Last Wednesday was supposed to be a trail hike but due to rain they ended up going to the mall instead.
Camping last weekend went well. He said that he had fun. It's hard to tell sometimes. He looks like he is not really paying much attention to where he is yet he must be. Hubby and I stayed up until around 10 and Michael stayed up after that watching the fire ;). His reason for wanting to go camping is the fire. The store at the campsite sells little packets that causes the flames to go different colors which is kinda cool. We got 2 of them this time. Roasted some marshmallows. Hubby and I froze our butts off that night. Not quit warm enough at night yet...
I have had 2 appointments with ADAPT now. I will be meeting with my counselor once a week until she can get through my history. Also because I'm now a client of ADAPT then I'm able to participate in another program they have called 'STOP' which is for quitting smoking. I meet with a gentleman for that Wednesday morning and he gave me a months supply of patches and some lozenges. Now I just have to set my quit date. Because of my own past history with addiction I'm a little bit of both. I'm there as a family member of an addict but I'm also a recovering addict so I should be able to attend some of the programs for that as well.
Every Friday (today) they have a get together for addiction clients where people can talk about addiction, mental illness and how to have a better life. My son keeps asking if he can come to group with hubby and I and of course the answer is no. I reminded him of a youth thing that happens on Wednesday nights however I can't go to that one so he says no. He seemed open to the idea of going to today's session so we will see depending on the weather as it's supposed to downpour. Also I think his motivation may be the food court at the mall where ADAPT is and I can't keep handing money out to these things. Every group he wants money for McDonald's...
Wednesday hubby noticed that Michael seemed a bit edgy or cranky. A week without alcohol and he was/is probably experiencing some withdrawal symptoms. Being aware of this I didn't say anything that would play into that scenario. You know the one that has the addict pushing for a fight or argument so that they have a reason to drink or use ;). I can't say that I want to go through this every time my son gets money. It may not seem like much, however it's a constant cycle of him feeding his addiction then going through withdrawal when he has to go without. Sadly it's him that is suffering with withdrawal...
Hubby and I had group again last night. It was a repeat of the same theme as the last one we attended which was concurrent disorders: addiction and mental illness. Hubby seems to be getting a lot out of these groups. It's helping him to see/hear from others, other then just me. The group last night was through the Schizophrenia Society of Ontario (SSO) and they meet once a month at that location. I was sort of aware however I will make a bigger effort in the future to attend these.
I did speak to the lady from SSO for a minute about advocacy and other things. These are the items that SSO is currently working on: Policy and Advocacy
Rules... It came to our attention on Wednesday night, I think, that my son has started smoking in his bedroom. I totally missed the red flag of my son being in his room all night. Here I was thinking: Yah he's sleeping through the night. *face palm* I'm usually more on top of it then that but I guess between upping my antidepressants and my want to not see the negatives... I totally missed it until hubby commented that upstairs smelled like cigarette smoke.
Yesterday he was smoking while I was upstairs so I smelled it. Of course he lied to me. I gave him several chances to tell me the truth and finally had to go find the 'ashtray' and take it out of his room and tell him to go outside. Once outside I brought it up and of course got the: I pay for my room... I didn't respond right away, waited a bit then said to him that I didn't want it to be that every time I bring up something that he is doing that he isn't supposed to be doing that I have to deal with his ODD. He asked what ODD was? Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He says: I'm not being defiant, ok maybe I am but that's because you won't listen. Listen to what? You want to do what you want regardless of the rules because you think you should be able to. Yes you pay for the room however that still doesn't give you the right to smoke in it. If he rented a whole apartment that was non-smoking than he still isn't allowed to smoke in it. The world has rules.
I let him know that moving forward there would be consequences to him not following this rule. Several hours later it's easy to know that he is STILL smoking in his room as he hasn't gone outside for a smoke. I let him know that I'm backing off on giving him attention until he can learn to follow this rule. This may sound harsh however if I let this boundary slip then every other rule or boundary will go out the window with it.
In last night's group there was discussion on the 'slippery slope' of addiction. Well there are slippery slopes with boundaries as well. My son loves to push them and whenever I don't try to keep them then he pushes them all. He will even tell me: Well this is a rule and you let me so I figure this rule doesn't apply either. Typical ODD behavior which is why boundary setting is so important. Regardless of all this I don't want my home full of cigarette smoke, certainly not upstairs when it contributes to my headaches and guess what? It's my home too.
So awesomely today I have totally triggered his ODD ;) by taking his cigarettes out of his room and putting them in the basement. Not an easy tightrope to walk. Enforcing the boundary without allowing this to turn into something ugly so keeping my tone neutral and not reacting to his attitude which as the moment seems to be staring me down...
I'm off to make a coffee and harass my daughter, if I can, as she hasn't been getting to work on time. All I can do is keep calling her phone...
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Showing posts with label Mania. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mania. Show all posts
Friday, June 12, 2015
Friday, May 8, 2015
Latuda Roller Coaster
It's been a bit of an interesting week. When my son's case worker stopped by on Monday to drop off his medications for the week and check in, I told her that what I have been seeing is different. I didn't know how to explain different... Just that I wasn't sure that I liked what I was seeing. The Latuda seemed to be helping however in some ways it wasn't.
He went from Friday to Tuesday barely eating. Even though he was going to bed he wasn't sleeping good and he wasn't napping during the day either.
Monday evening he randomly hugged me... Good sign right?
Tuesday he asked for the internet back. I asked him if he remembered the things that he had said to me and he replied that he remembered all of it. I asked if he still felt justified in saying what he did. Yes err no... He was upset. Ok I can understand that. I let him know that threatening me was illegal and reminded him that he had threatened to hurt me. He told me that he would never hurt me. Didn't I know that? That's the crutch isn't it? My son, Michael, would never hurt me. Psychosis and alcohol on the other hand is a different story. I gave him back the internet, not that he has used it, and told him that we really need to work on his anger issues.
We talked about his tobacco use. He told me that I had agreed that if he bought one tube of tobacco that I would buy him two. Ok we need to get to the bottom of where these misconceptions are coming from. When did I say that? I didn't but another time I told him that if he bought one carton of cigarettes then I would buy him two cartons. Yes I did do this once because he had spent his money on furniture for his room. Grrr... It does get irritating that whenever I do something nice that it gets turned into something like this. So I made it clear that I would get him some tobacco like I said I would but not two tubes and next month I don't plan on helping with this again.
I talked to his worker at disability and let her know that they are still deducting $40 from his payments due to the supposed over payment of him collecting disability from two provinces at once. This should be fixed for next payment so that they are only deducting $10. The drug cards finally got faxed over to the pharmacy that is supplying his medications and starting next month they should be mailing them to me.
I also tried to address the alcohol... It's not helping him. It's depressing him and triggering anger. He is not a happy drunk when he drinks now. It's seriously impairing him and his functionality. Off he went to the liquor store anyways...
I know he thinks I'm being hard on him however I can't continue to support his drinking and we are not spending more money on his tobacco then we do our own. We shouldn't have to. Hubby has been talking about quitting again. Maybe we should. It's harder to tell my son no when we are smoking.
Wednesday morning he started drinking at 9 AM. I didn't say anything... thought I guess I should be happy that he didn't drink it all the day before. Sad isn't it when that is what I'm left with... Back to the different that I noted at the beginning of this post. I haven't had much experience in seeing my son actively hallucinate. Things don't usually get that far here. I asked my son if he was hallucinating and he said no. Now my bad here because really I'm asking someone who is seeing what they see as being just as real as everything I see and expecting him to know the different ;) I notice by Wednesday afternoon that he was acting odd even for him. It was like he was pushing stuff away from him and it almost looked like bouncing a ball or something... Things I couldn't see.
Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster for him. Early afternoon he was making noises that I couldn't at first tell if it was crying or laughing. However the look on his face was one of pain. At the same time he was having issues with his privates. I'm guessing tactile hallucinations. Several times I asked him if he was ok and if he was crying. He said no however at one point he told me to leave him alone and stop looking at him while he was crying. He didn't want me touching him and he couldn't tell me why he was crying just that he was. I asked if it was ok if I called PACT and talked to his nurse about the Latuda that his dose is too high. He said yes.
I called and of course his nurse wasn't in, his case worker wasn't available and the other nurses were all in a meeting but I could leave a message. I did. They haven't called me back yet.
The off and on crying and issues with his privates continued for about an hour. I was on the verge of putting us in a cab and going to emergency. I asked him if he was having thoughts of hurting himself and he said that he wasn't. I asked that if he did that he let me know right away. Finally it stopped and he said that he was feeling better. I was coloring and he joined me. Then it started again however not as bad as before and was shorter. Then he was very happy. I think perhaps a bit manic based on the continual smile. I could see that he was hallucinating again. That had me concerned for a bit as he was doing air punches or interacting with his hallucinations, I'm not sure, but too close to me so I asked him not to do that around me. Thankfully this didn't last long.
Since PACT didn't call me back, I looked it up and his Latuda pills can be cut in half. Latuda is supposed to be taken with food. Not snacks but an actual meal. Given that he hasn't been eating that has been a tough one and he wanted to take it at night with his Invega. I think between the too high dose and not taking it with food that it has been hitting him too hard. Latuda can cause mania as far as I know. I know it's not supposed to be sedating which means it can be activating. Since he has been taking it before bed I think it's been interfering with his sleep as Wednesday night he did take two Melatonin and still didn't sleep good.
So I have cut his dose from 80 mg to 40 mg and gave it to him with dinner last night. The up side to the mini manic phase seems to be that he ate dinner fairly good. He didn't eat all of it but he did eat his chicken and salad so an ok base for the Latuda.
He still hasn't showered however he has been in the bath the last two nights. While it may sound like a good thing... When he is experiencing symptoms or tactile hallucinations he seems to like the sensation of being in the tube so it's not really a good sign when he wants to have a bath every day. Last night I went into the bathroom and took out his dirty socks, underwear and shirt and put out clean ones so that he had no choice but to but on clean ones.
Around 9:30 last night I went into his room and had him take his Invega and two Melatonin. He slept although not as deep as I would like. He got up today at 8:30 AM. Not bad actually as he has been getting up with me and hubby around 5 for the past week. I had debating not giving him any Latuda last night however if I did that I ran the risk of him not taking it again as he has done this with several medications in the past. Just because 80 mg is too much I don't want to not give this medication a chance. He needs the antipsychotic right now.
I called PACT and left another message letting them know I cut the dose. Hopefully today I will see a reduction in what I was seeing yesterday. Probably not though as he appeared to be hallucinating a little while ago and is now off to the liquor store again...
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
He went from Friday to Tuesday barely eating. Even though he was going to bed he wasn't sleeping good and he wasn't napping during the day either.
Monday evening he randomly hugged me... Good sign right?
Tuesday he asked for the internet back. I asked him if he remembered the things that he had said to me and he replied that he remembered all of it. I asked if he still felt justified in saying what he did. Yes err no... He was upset. Ok I can understand that. I let him know that threatening me was illegal and reminded him that he had threatened to hurt me. He told me that he would never hurt me. Didn't I know that? That's the crutch isn't it? My son, Michael, would never hurt me. Psychosis and alcohol on the other hand is a different story. I gave him back the internet, not that he has used it, and told him that we really need to work on his anger issues.
We talked about his tobacco use. He told me that I had agreed that if he bought one tube of tobacco that I would buy him two. Ok we need to get to the bottom of where these misconceptions are coming from. When did I say that? I didn't but another time I told him that if he bought one carton of cigarettes then I would buy him two cartons. Yes I did do this once because he had spent his money on furniture for his room. Grrr... It does get irritating that whenever I do something nice that it gets turned into something like this. So I made it clear that I would get him some tobacco like I said I would but not two tubes and next month I don't plan on helping with this again.
I talked to his worker at disability and let her know that they are still deducting $40 from his payments due to the supposed over payment of him collecting disability from two provinces at once. This should be fixed for next payment so that they are only deducting $10. The drug cards finally got faxed over to the pharmacy that is supplying his medications and starting next month they should be mailing them to me.
I also tried to address the alcohol... It's not helping him. It's depressing him and triggering anger. He is not a happy drunk when he drinks now. It's seriously impairing him and his functionality. Off he went to the liquor store anyways...
I know he thinks I'm being hard on him however I can't continue to support his drinking and we are not spending more money on his tobacco then we do our own. We shouldn't have to. Hubby has been talking about quitting again. Maybe we should. It's harder to tell my son no when we are smoking.
Wednesday morning he started drinking at 9 AM. I didn't say anything... thought I guess I should be happy that he didn't drink it all the day before. Sad isn't it when that is what I'm left with... Back to the different that I noted at the beginning of this post. I haven't had much experience in seeing my son actively hallucinate. Things don't usually get that far here. I asked my son if he was hallucinating and he said no. Now my bad here because really I'm asking someone who is seeing what they see as being just as real as everything I see and expecting him to know the different ;) I notice by Wednesday afternoon that he was acting odd even for him. It was like he was pushing stuff away from him and it almost looked like bouncing a ball or something... Things I couldn't see.
Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster for him. Early afternoon he was making noises that I couldn't at first tell if it was crying or laughing. However the look on his face was one of pain. At the same time he was having issues with his privates. I'm guessing tactile hallucinations. Several times I asked him if he was ok and if he was crying. He said no however at one point he told me to leave him alone and stop looking at him while he was crying. He didn't want me touching him and he couldn't tell me why he was crying just that he was. I asked if it was ok if I called PACT and talked to his nurse about the Latuda that his dose is too high. He said yes.
I called and of course his nurse wasn't in, his case worker wasn't available and the other nurses were all in a meeting but I could leave a message. I did. They haven't called me back yet.
The off and on crying and issues with his privates continued for about an hour. I was on the verge of putting us in a cab and going to emergency. I asked him if he was having thoughts of hurting himself and he said that he wasn't. I asked that if he did that he let me know right away. Finally it stopped and he said that he was feeling better. I was coloring and he joined me. Then it started again however not as bad as before and was shorter. Then he was very happy. I think perhaps a bit manic based on the continual smile. I could see that he was hallucinating again. That had me concerned for a bit as he was doing air punches or interacting with his hallucinations, I'm not sure, but too close to me so I asked him not to do that around me. Thankfully this didn't last long.
Since PACT didn't call me back, I looked it up and his Latuda pills can be cut in half. Latuda is supposed to be taken with food. Not snacks but an actual meal. Given that he hasn't been eating that has been a tough one and he wanted to take it at night with his Invega. I think between the too high dose and not taking it with food that it has been hitting him too hard. Latuda can cause mania as far as I know. I know it's not supposed to be sedating which means it can be activating. Since he has been taking it before bed I think it's been interfering with his sleep as Wednesday night he did take two Melatonin and still didn't sleep good.
So I have cut his dose from 80 mg to 40 mg and gave it to him with dinner last night. The up side to the mini manic phase seems to be that he ate dinner fairly good. He didn't eat all of it but he did eat his chicken and salad so an ok base for the Latuda.
He still hasn't showered however he has been in the bath the last two nights. While it may sound like a good thing... When he is experiencing symptoms or tactile hallucinations he seems to like the sensation of being in the tube so it's not really a good sign when he wants to have a bath every day. Last night I went into the bathroom and took out his dirty socks, underwear and shirt and put out clean ones so that he had no choice but to but on clean ones.
Around 9:30 last night I went into his room and had him take his Invega and two Melatonin. He slept although not as deep as I would like. He got up today at 8:30 AM. Not bad actually as he has been getting up with me and hubby around 5 for the past week. I had debating not giving him any Latuda last night however if I did that I ran the risk of him not taking it again as he has done this with several medications in the past. Just because 80 mg is too much I don't want to not give this medication a chance. He needs the antipsychotic right now.
I called PACT and left another message letting them know I cut the dose. Hopefully today I will see a reduction in what I was seeing yesterday. Probably not though as he appeared to be hallucinating a little while ago and is now off to the liquor store again...
Mom
BarbieBF
© BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey, 2014 - 2015. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blogs author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links to blog posts and/or pages as a whole (in there entirety) may be used provided that full and clear credit is given to BarbieBF and Schizophrenia - Mom's Journey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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